My Best Friend's Mom

Don't call it a comeback...

2012-01-19T17:38:00.000-08:00

The other day, the topic of best Saved by the Bell episodes came up at work, and I came up with my top ten in a snap. Like didn't even have to call a Time out. Everyone was like did you already have a pre-made list or are you some sort of SBTB recall freak? Turns out, a little bit of both, but that led me look back at the blog entry, aptly titled Life Lessons Learned from Zack Morris and I realized, I'm funny, I should blog more.

I then read the If You Seek Amy entry, where I declared my #1 love to Amy Poehler, and this just confirmed that I should start blogging again because the world needs more blog posts about Amy Poehler. 2009 Amy had great taste, and apparently she still does. Ew talking in third person doesn't feel right. Anyhow, super obsessed with Amy Poehler, see below. So this first foray back into the world of blogging is going to represent a few things with which I'm currently obsessed.

5. St Germain. Elderflower liqueur from the Swiss Alps. It's a topper, only like 40 proof, but it adds an almost lychee like flavor to everything. Thus it makes everything out of control. Tastes great in orange juice, raspberry lemonade, tonic water, Sprite, or plain. I drink this just about every day (is drinking every day a problem?), I am in fact drinking this now. Hub 51 in Chicago has a great Germain and Juice cocktail, and Zocalo in KC has a great Gin Blossom drink that utilizes Germain perfectly. This is the best tasting alcohol in existence and the bottle ain't bad to look at either.

4. Top Chef. I have watched every season, and somehow they manage to keep it fresh even with the same challenges (hello Restaurant Wars!). This year it's a real social study on how awful women are to each other, which is just fantastic. Beverly is so scattered and harried and it kills me, but Sarah and Lindsay are straight up bitches to her. I'm not saying I wouldn't be the same because I so would be...I'd write her off day one because she cried. There's no crying in baseball. Girls are so catty and passive aggressive, and it always makes for fantastic TV. Always, don't ever change Top Chef. Every year, there are such talented chefs (and gorgeous ones, Michael Voltaggio, I'm talking to you) and the best guest judges (and gorgeous ones, Eric Ripert, I'm talking to you). Plus the dishes they produced for the wickedly good challenge this week were incredible (Paul with the hand print! Chris with the poison apple! Dying.) and made me want to eat lamb heart.

3. Funny girls. See Tina Fey's photo bomb during Amy Poehler's nominee shot at the Golden Globes. Best. See Mindy Kaling's book, Is Everyone Having Fun Without Me? I feel a real kinship with Ms. Kaling, we have similar upbringings (ethnic younger children of doctors/professional parents) and opinions on sluts. Seriously though, both she and Tina Fey wrote great books last year. I Lol'ed.

2. Parks and Recreation. This show had me at hello, but it just keeps getting better. I would watch Amy Poehler do just about anything. I would (LITERALLY) watch her kill someone, and then help her hide the evidence or even take the blame for it. Aziz Ansari is manic and hilarious and if you haven't seen his standup or 30 Minutes or Less you should do so, you won't be disappointed. And Nick Offerman's Ron Swanson is my new hero. His drunk on Snake Juice dancing is without a doubt my favorite thing I've seen on TV in years. It makes me happy, I want a gif of it to be my avatar.

Pratt falls. Period.

And then they add Adam Scott at the end of season two. Adam "Henry Pollard" Scott. Adam "Derek Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer" Scott. I can go on. Simply put, I adore Adam Scott. Love Adam Scott. Want to bear his children (and that is the greatest endorsement I can give any man, as I do not wish to bear children). He is the dream. He is also apparently also GQ magazine's dream because he was listed as a part of the Axis of Good Looking Actors along with Paul Rudd (my other love) and Jon Hamm. Don't hate.

Paul Rudd is currently guesting this season too! The writers have trespassed into my thoughts and brought my two dream men together (other than in real life where they are friends), and they will be paid handsomely (by the studio not by me I have like $60 to my name) for this.

Obsessed with Ben and Leslie. An adorable man with a cute face and the future President of the United States...what? are the cutest couple ever (and very popular as evidenced by an alarming amount of caricatures and anime of the two drawn by fans--none by me I swear). The writers have taken their time to develop the relationship over almost two seasons, and the culmination in Road Trip and then Smallest Park episodes were just so perfectly done. If these two characters don't get married on the show, I will go to LA, find both actors and make them put on a fake wedding just so I can die happy. This needs to happen. Louis CK better not eff things up. I will cut him, muthafucka bout to be stabbed.

1. Staycations. I'm on one starting tomorrow after my cases. Going places is overrated, studying rocks! Yes, I am drunk.

There was no picture that represented vacation better than the Ron Swanson Snake Juice Dance. You're welcome.

Good night, New Moon

2010-01-20T04:35:00.000-08:00

I never actually got around to writing about Dawn’s and my New Moon adventure, which took place on the night of the New Moon premiere way back on November 19, 2009. So I'm only like two months behind. Let me just preface this by saying that there was a ton of buildup to the movie, like I read every blog post, watched every interview, bought every magazine that featured the RPattz. Did you guys see that Vanity Fair spread? Jeebus. The six months of build up culminated in our celebration. I mean, I don’t think I’d ever been this excited for a movie’s premiere since Titanic and that’s only because I loved me some Leo DiCaprio when I was 13. Who am I kidding, I still love him. But I digress, I bought tickets for the midnight showing six weeks in advance for this latest Twilight installment and still didn’t even get the best seats. That's how big this thing is.

People are apeshit for this saga. And for Robert Pattinson, which is obviously warranted because he's sexy.

Anyway, Dawn’s parents were in town, so they graciously invited me to dinner with them at Gordon Biersch. I started the evening as I commence most evenings, in an extremely decadent fashion, partaking in lobster mac and cheese action. I really couldn’t concentrate on the dinner though since we were about to see New Moon! RPattz! I’m a fangirl in the worse sense.

Dawn and I attended the one night only repeat showing of Twilight at 8 PM along with some other die hards, but I think our theater was pretty tame. There were a few girls wearing Team Edward shirts, some with Twilight paraphernalia, but overall nothing crazy. I mean, we didn’t have anyone dress up like Alice or Rosalie or anything like that. Dawn and I certainly wouldn’t be caught dead in costume, just in case that shit ended up on the internet or something. Could you imagine? We’d never live it down. I'm a huge fan, but I ain't willing to compromise my dignity.

After the first movie was over, we headed back to my place for a power nap, which shows you how pathetic and old we are. I couldn’t even make it to midnight without a nap. But in my defense, I was two days post call, so I was already exhausted.

By the time we were back to the theater for the premiere, I was in full form though, and super duper excited. That’s right, super duper. We bought souvenir cups of soda, which was definitely needed to boost energy, and plus I like drinking from a cup with RPattz's face on it. That's only a little disturbing to me, BTW.

And then the magic started. First, we were rewarded with a trailer for Robert Pattinson’s upcoming Remember Me, which but for Evil Tess, looks like it’s going to be moderately good. I do love Chris Cooper’s acting and Pierce Brosnan is a silver fox. And I want to see Letters to Juliet because A. I like Amanda Seyfried and B. They played Taylor Swift’s Love Story in the trailer. Whoever made that happen is a genius.

When the movie started with that huge image of the yellow moon eclipsing, I about peed myself, it was so exciting. And thoughts on the movie?

It was phenomenal, for what the material is. I mean, you have to remember, this is Twilight, not Gone with the Wind. Chris Weitz, who was already one of my favorite directors because of About a Boy and American Pie, did an incredible job bringing the book to life. It was so accurate, and even though most people who hadn’t seen the movie argued that it was slow and boring, that’s how it was in the book. New Moon is my least favorite of the saga, but the movie kicked ass because it was true to the story.

Edward leaving Bella was so painful, I definitely teared up. Plus, Edward's tweed suit was just so severe. The wardrobe was a little awkward, not gonna lie. Except the shirtless part, that was completely necessary. Speaking of shirtless, you really felt Taylor Lautner’s Jacob growing in his role as Bella’s best friend and burgeoning love interest.

The movie obviously needed more Pattinson, but I mean, that’s just the nature of how it went down in the book. My favorite scene was definitely when he was walking towards her in slow motion for the first time. I died. He’s gorgeous.

I thought Kristen Stewart did a much better job this time around, especially in the very notable passing months scene, where she looks dead. Plus, they paired that scene with the very haunting Lykke Li tune, Possibility. The soundtrack is fantastic, by the way, I mean Slow Life by Grizzly Bear is one of the saddest songs I’ve heard in a while. And Roslyn by Bon Iver? Perfection.

Billy Burke was very cute as Chief Swan again, and Ashley Greene was definitely more like the Alice I envisioned whilst reading the book this time around. And the Volturi were cast perfectly. I mean, Michael Sheen is an amazing actor, as is Dakota Fanning, and they were all super creepy.

And jeebus, Taylor Lautner’s abs. That’s all I can say until he turns 18. Only like two weeks, right?

The movie was much funnier this time around, which was nice because it is a serious book. People were laughing in the theater at a lot of parts that probably weren’t supposed to be funny, but it was midnight and we were at a freaking showing of Twilight.

I don’t want to ruin the ending for anyone, but OMG can you say cliffhanger? Loved it! I've seen the movie three times in theaters, once by myself. First movie I've ever seen by myself.

This makes me very excited for Eclipse, although I feel like the excitement has died down quite a bit since New Moon was released. In part, I think it’s because RPattz and KStew have been laying low (except over the New Year’s holiday) and after the press tour they’ve been MIA. Also, everyone in the cast has been involved in different projects, including Taylor Lautner's movie Valentine's Day with ex-gf Taylor Swift...I seriously will be like the first in line for this movie. It's about my birthday! And it has Bradley Cooper! And Patrick Dempsey! And Hector Elizondo! And George Lopez! Wait, what?

Anyway, we eventually went to Burger King to grab some New Moon gift cards (I got the Edward one, obvs), and I think the manager felt second hand embarrassed for the two grown women who were buying Twilight gift cards that he gave us the fan pack with trading cards for free. I appreciated that. I really wanted to steal the Edward cut out from outside the BK. Somehow I think the King would show up outside my window though and that would not be cool. That guy scares the shite out of me.

Anyway, June 30, I am there at the theater. Eclipse was my favorite book and I'm excited to see how it will pan out. And since I've recruited her to the dark side, Dawn will be right there with me. See what Twilight does? It brings people together. You go, Twilight.

One day you will look back and you'll see...

2010-01-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

Since we've just celebrated another start of the year, I am going to attempt to make New Year's resolutions, although if there's something I want to accomplish, I usually do it during the year.

Before I do that though, to be glib, 2009 was a really eventful year.

I graduated from medical school. Pretty important.
I matched into an Otolaryngology residency. Not just any Otolaryngology program, the perfect Otolaryngology program for me.
I started my general surgery internship, and was immediately taken back to the bottom of the totem pole. I learned that I know shit from shit.
My four year relationship with the first person I ever loved ended. And I survived.
I became a Mac person.
I saw U2 in concert.
I made friends with a rockstar.
I made my first trip to Asia (Japan/Taipei).
I became a first time homeowner.

I'm sure other things happened, but those are the only things that are really standing out right now.

2010 is going to be just as eventful as I will actually start my ENT training which is gonna fucking be hard. Like, I'm trying to take advantage of the easier rotations I have now because come July, I'm gonna get rocked. I'm excited though because I am so tired of general surgery. I do not see the appeal of ostomies and rectals and decubitus ulcers. It makes me want to vomit.

Everytime I make one of these lists, I always go back to a list I made my first year of medical school of things I hope to accomplish in my life. Every year I come no closer to achieving any of those things. One day though, you just have to keep on believing that there will be time and means to accomplish your goals. This kind of goes with the new MTV show, "The Buried Life" which is about four guys who set out to accomplish items on their bucket lists. I will be watching this show because I like the premise and because the four guys are fuckhot.

1. Kiss a rockstar.
2. Live in New York City.
3. Spending a few months loafing around Europe.
4. Sit on Centre Court at Wimbledon. Also attend Super Bowl, World Cup and Olympics.
5. Be on TV or in a movie.
6. Write a book.
7. Travel to each one of the 50 states.
8. Do something completely unexpected and non-calculated. Something that no one expects me to do.
9. Make a difference.
10. Go to Coachella.

So the only one I actually accomplished during medical school was #5 be on TV. I was on E! News briefly once when they interviewed people at the Paley Festival.

My New Year's resolutions this year are:

Kiss someone new this year.
Reconnect with old friends. Deepen the friendships that I already have.
Be motivated to study. (See how it doesn't say: study more)
Travel somewhere new.
Learn how to actually be a surgeon.
Avoid dramah. It's hard and out of my hands, I know.
Go to as many concerts as financially possible.
Take care of myself.

A lot of my friends have been so supportive this year, and I'm very thankful for them and everything they've done for me. I hope that nothing ever happens to them that makes them need me the way I've needed them, but they should know that I will be there for them no matter what.

I think all these resolutions are definitely attainable, especially since it took me about 23 minutes into the new year to accomplish the first one. Holla.

It was a beautiful day!

2009-12-09T16:29:00.000-08:00

So one of my life long goals was achieved last month while I was on vacation.

I saw U2 live in concert. It finally happened. And it was amazing. Except for the douchy audience, it was perfect.

I've been a U2 fan since I was in the womb. They are my sister's favorite band, and since she is ten years older than I am, and thus was my second mother, we listened to a lot of U2 when I was a kid. I mean, Achtung Baby was like the only music I heard in 1990. Now, we have tried to see them many times in the past, popmart tour, elevation, zooropa...somehow U2 have always alluded us. We've have never been in town when they came to our town. But not this year.

I scheduled a vacation in October with the intent to see U2 and Muse together. I love Muse. I mean, I really love Muse, so I wanted to see them as the opener and not the Black Eyed Peas or Snow Patrol. I bought my ticket for $87.50, plane ticket for $99 each way to Dallas, and spent $70 on a rental car. My sister unfortunately could not join me because she's got like kids and work or something, so I went by myself and am not ashamed of that. We'll see them together in the future.

I got to Dallas and the rental car assigned to me was a 2010 Silver Mustang. I know right? High stylin'. I really felt like a Texan. I went to the Galleria to shop, and it is basically a mirror image of the STL Galleria. I needed to kill time before the concert though, and there's nothing like a little high end shopping to do that. The concert was in Arlington at the New Dallas Cowboys stadium and let me tell you, the thing is a monstrosity. I mean, it's just behemoth. I'm glad I sprung for more expensive tix because I heard people up in the nosebleeds couldn't hear very well. Which, if I'm going to see U2, I better fucking hear them.

The stage was this Octopus alien like structure that apparently costs like $5 million to assemble and disassemble. Definitely more than the GNP of most small countries, but hell it's Bono, so who cares. There was huge screens and the stage was set up in 360 with little bridges out into the general admission sections and I was definitely jealous of those peeps.

Muse opened and were just great. They are known for their stage show with lighting and video media on the big screen and it was visually stunning. They played Starlight, Time is Running Out and Undisclosed Desires, which are my favorites, so I was happy. Matt Bellamy has the raddest sparkly red guitar...I love. And I love him, he looks like a skinnier Christian Bale. I'm totally hoping I can see them when they tour here next year. Undisclosed desires is one of my favorite songs of the past year, I've listened the shit out of it from their album, The Resistance.

The house lights finally went down and David Bowie's Space Oddity played...my fav DB song. The gods, I mean the band took the stage and I died. I love Bono so much, I mean, he's like my idol. On my admission essay for Northwestern, I named him as the person I'd like to have as my celebrity parent. True story. I know he's preachy, and seems sort of self-righteous, but he's freaking Bono. I mean, I've seen Sting in concert and was in awe, but seeing Bono was like nothing I've ever experienced. I kind of felt like my heart was full...which is the lamest thing I've ever said.

That said, I'm a little disappointed that they did not play Pride which is my fav song. Bono's voice also isn't what it used to be, so he changed the melodies of songs to suit his presbylaryngis. He still sounded good. The Edge is just the coolest...I mean, he's like that creepy silent guy who lingers in the back, but you know he has so many cool stories and secrets. The Edge makes U2, U2. Adam was flashy as per usual, and Larry just sat back there playing the drums still looking pretty young. Visually the stage was amazing, the sound was good where I was sitting. The lights and the screen backgrounds were beautiful, and Bono and co were all over the stage.

Of course there was the requisite moment where Bono talked about the prisoner of war in Burma. And Desmond Tutu did the introduction to their encore, so that's just a reminder of how far above being rock stars they are. I mean, Desmond Tutu. Seriously. Plus, when my sister saw them a few weeks later in Vegas, Bill Clinton was in the audience. They play to world leaders. This is the reality of being in U2. And I will never have anything like that.

They sounded especially amazing on Sunday, Bloody Sunday; One, With or Without you, Mysterious Ways, I still haven't found what I'm looking for...which all coincidentally are my favorite songs. Probably my favorite was City of Blinding Light, which unfortunately no one in my section of the audience knew. I felt like I was in that episode of Entourage where Bono sings to Johnny Drama on his birthday. Especially at the "Oh You Look So Beautiful Tonight!" part. Love that song.

The worst part of the show was the audience. There was a pair of couples in my row who got up no less than 16 times during U2's set. I'm not exaggerating, I counted. Because I was pissed. I had to get up every fucking time to let them through. Sit the fuck down, you're at a concert. I know you don't care about U2, but I DO and I PAID A LOT OF MONEY TO SEE THEM, ASSHOLES. And one of the guys kicked my poster when he was walking out which really pissed me off, and I stared him down until his friend said sorry. Don't fuck with me. I drive a mustang when I'm in Texas.

I sat next to a man and his daughter. He let her skip school to drive down from North Texas to see this show. What a fucking cool dad, BTW. I think he was kind of hitting on me at one point (don't worry, he's divorced), but it was awkward. First of all, the girl and a whole bunch of other people were like "This is the song from Twilight!" when Supermassive Black Hole was played, which embarrassed me to no end. I mean, fuck, I love Twilight more than anyone, but I also am a fan of Muse's music and they are better than that. Then the girl asked to see my poster, which had U2 on it. She was like, "That one is Bono, and that one is the Edge, who are these two?"

I died.

I seriously was like, OMFG your dad let you skip school to see U2 and you don't know who Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr. is? My heart imploded. Yeah, I'm a music snob.

Anyway, here was the U2 setlist. I hope I get to see them again real soon because it's not just a concert with U2, it's a life changing event. No lie. I LOVE YOU BONO.

Breathe
Get On Your Boots
Magnificent
Mysterious Ways
Beautiful Day
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For...
Stuck in a Moment...
No Line on the Horizon
Elevation
Until the End of the World
Unforgettable Fire
City of Blinding Light
Vertigo
I'll go Crazy if I don't go Crazy tonight
Sunday Bloody Sunday
MLK
Walk On

One
Amazing Grace
Where the Streets Have No Name

Ultraviolet
With or Without You
Moment of Surrender

I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does

2009-12-09T09:37:00.000-08:00

I recently went through a difficult breakup, and as a widely known music fanatic, I made a playlist to help me deal with the fact that my ex-boyfriend is a real douchebag. And he really is, and I'm really better off without him. And no, I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better. He really treated me like shit at the end, and as a strong, independent, confident woman, I will not stand for that. I'm much better than his shit, which is so Busch league. Trust me, no one is telling me that I'm going to regret losing him. It was a good relationship, but it's over and I'm moving forth. Good riddance and on with the playlist. It's a little hodge-podge, but aren't all of my mixes like that?

There are several stages of a breakup that are represented in this mix.

1. Questioning, i.e. Why?
2. Bargaining, i.e. Please don't leave me (this is hopefully the shortest stage).
3. Anger, i.e. Fuck you, you worthless piece of shit, you're going to regret this.
4. Regret, i.e. looking back at the relationship, good and bad.
5. Acceptance and moving forth, i.e. Fuck you, I can and will do so much better.

There are more stages, but that would take me all day to explain.

One--U2
What Have I Don't to Deserve This?--Pet Shop Boys feat. Dusty Springfield
Slow Life--Grizzly Bear (saddest song ever!)
No Air--Jordin Sparks feat Chris Brown
Linger--the Cranberries
The Heart of the Matter--Don Henley
If You Leave--OMD (or Nada Surf)
End of the Road--Boyz II Men (probably the most appropriate song on this list)
Hold Me Now--Thompson Twins
High & Dry--Radiohead
Wicked Game--Chris Isaac
Anything--Dramarama
Keep Me Hanging On--Kym Wilde (or the original by the Supremes)
Hot N Cold--Katy Perry
Enjoy the Silence--Depeche Mode
How Soon is Now--The Smiths
The Engine Driver--The Decemberists
Apologize--One Republic (it is too late, it's too late)
Human--Human League
Throwing it All Away--Genesis
Don't Speak--No Doubt (quite possibly the best breakup song ever)
Title & Registration--Death Cab for Cutie
Pictures of You--The Cure
Everlong (acoustic)--Foo Fighters
She's Gone--Hall & Oates
Can't Stand Losing You--Police
It Must Have Been Love--Roxette
Breakdown--Mariah Carey feat Bone Thugz N Harmony
White Flag--Dido
Everyday I Love You Less and Less--Kaiser Chiefs
Don't Look Back in Anger--Oasis
Go Your Own Way--Fleetwood Mac
Love Hurts--Incubus
Walk On--U2

And of course, the anthem of breaking up...I Will Survive--Gloria Gaynor

God, I have the best music taste ever.

I guess this is growing up.

2009-11-21T06:52:00.000-08:00

I have a backlog of like ten entries that I'm going to try to post starting this weekend. We've got my jaunt to Texas to see U2, partying like a rockstar at Kings of Leon, the day my iPhone failed, and the most major event this weekend: NEW MOON.

We'll get to all that, but let's start with the time I saw Blink182 and Weezer. This will be brief, because honestly it was awhile ago and I just don't remember. So, Nihir, Nick, Deep and I trekked out to Bonner Springs after a long Friday at work to arrive just in time for Weezer.

They played their favorites, their popular songs, and it was enjoyable. This was at the Buzz Beach Ball, so it was really crowded, but we had okay spots on the lawn. I mean, I could see the stage and I'm like negative two feet tall. Rivers Cuomo is so the original nerd hunk. And everyone knows he's into Asian chicks, so he was meant for me. Except that he's married with a kid, but whatever...minor details. Anyway, Weezer is responsible for my all time favorite music video, the Happy Days inspired "Buddy Holly." Also, one of my favorite songs of theirs.

After all these years, they still sound pretty good. Rivers was jumpin' all around and getting all crazy for his mid-thirties self. And although I haven't been a huge fan of their more recent stuff, I thought Pork and Beans actually sounded really great live.

After roaming around a little bit, and randomly running into some people from our school, we weaved through the crowd and took our places for Blink. Now, let me give a little background. I used to worship Blink182. Like, not in the I have a crush on that band member and his picture is all over my wall, but they are actually one of the few bands out there that I own every single LP they've put out. I remember when Dammit came out. I was in 6th grade, and I remember watching that video on the Box all the time. Then Josie with Alyssa Milano came out and I watched that video a lot. I remember when Travis joined the band, and they did another one of the greatest videos of all time, "All the Small Things." One of my first (and still current email) AIM screennames has 182 in it. A lot of my computer passwords have the number 182 in it. I grew up with this band. They were a huge part of my formative years, growing up in SoCal.

So, you can imagine it was a trip that I was seeing them, now a band with most members married, children, thirties. They still act like they're in freshman year. "Hey Mark, do you know what Kansas City is? Kansas City is a slut, and you and I are totally tag-teaming that shit." That shit was funny. Crude jokes and hand gestures. Talking about each other's moms. Calling the city Boner Springs. You get the point. And man, they sounded pretty good. Travis Barker is an amazing drummer. Remember when he was in the Aquabats? I do, I had a friend who was obsessed with them. Oh Ska, where did you go? Tom sounded a little raspy at times, but I actually really like the songs where he sings lead. And Mark is just Mark, I've always liked Mark because he's a lead singer/bass player. It's rare, ask Sting.

Of course, most of the crowd was probably younger than us, but the songs took me right back junior high. Those were some good times, filled with fun music. Yeah, Blink might not be singing about saving the world from destruction and war, but they're songs are fun and catchy and you can just jump around and sing along. Their catalog is impressive too, like they have a lot of popular songs. They don't take themselves too seriously, and that is what I admire about them. Now, Angels & Airwaves? Maybe.

Now I was reading a review on one of the KC blogs and the guy was like appalled at the cussing and crassness of the band. Really? This is a fucking rock show from a group who named their album Take off Your Pants and Jacket. Were you expecting a G rated show? And if you're dumb enough to take your underage children to the Buzz Beachball where every member of the audience is drunk, you're the problem because your decision making skills are not stellar. Yes, it's your fault. Not the band's.

And needless to say, there was a lot of MJ smoke in the audience too.

Dumpweed
Feeling This
The Rock Show
What's My Age Again?
It's Obvious
I Miss You
Stay Together For the Kids
Down
Always
Stockholm Syndrome
First Date
Man Overboard
Going Away to College
Not Now
All the Small Things
Reckless Abandon
Josie
Anthem Part 2

Encore:
Carousel
Dammit

The only thing that could have made me happy happened.

2009-11-10T17:54:00.001-08:00

I've had a pretty shit week. I'm not going into the details lest I actually burst into tears, throw my computer into my new TV and then displace my anger onto some undeserving inanimate object.

Let's just say that like all ex-boyfriends, mine's a complete douche bag.

And just when I thought that life was bleak, there was no point to anything anymore, and l--e was the dirtiest fucking word that should never be uttered ever again, there came hope.

Hope in the form of two kids in Paris trying to take a walk through an airport.

This was taken in Paris, as Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart made their way to their private plane. They are in Europe on a press tour for New Moon and they are obviously holding hands. Some might argue that it's more of KStew clutching onto RPattz's arm, but knowing how the two of them shied away from any sort of physical interaction over the past two years as to avoid fueling the rumors, I think this is pretty legit. Kristen wouldn't just randomly hold his hand like she would any other friend because of the connotations behind this simple action. The both of them are much too smart for this to be accidental. I'm not sure they knew the paparazzi were watching, and if they did which they should assume since they are followed everywhere, it's like a huge FUCK YOU to the media. Good for them, they look adorable. There are a shit ton of other pictures, and they look so happy. So good for them, someone deserves to be happy.

The cynic in me thinks that relationships don't last, especially in Hollywood, but I hope they are enjoying each other's company because happiness is fleeting. I really like them together. They just seem to get each other. And the dreamer in me thinks that is enough sometimes.

I like to call this picture, the day Robsten made the Twilight world stand still. Also known as the day millions of girls hearts shattered. It's sad, but now they know how I feel.

When did this become a Twilight blog?

2009-09-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

I swear I have a life outside of Twilight. I promise. However, the New Moon frenzy is just about to kick into high gear as we head towards the home stretch before November 20th.

The MTV VMAs were last night and because I am so devoted to Edward Cullen & Co, I had to watch to catch a glimpse of my vampire boyfriend. Surprisingly it wasn't a letdown. By now, anyone who cared to have watched knows the big shit that went down last night.

1. Taylor vs Kanye: I don't listen to country music. Period. I mean, I listen to Johnny Cash and like Tammy Wynette and Patsy Cline, but really, I don't. Taylor Swift wins the award for best female, and she goes up there in her sparkly (overdoing it a little for the VMAs) dress and she's all nervous and giggly. Then for some inexplicable reason, Kanye West storms the stage, grabs the mic and states that "Beyonce made one of the greatest videos of all time."

Two things are wrong with this. First of all, what the fuck, get off the stage, Kanye. Taylor won the award, let the girl have her moment. Who the fuck died and made you the accountant who always rigs the voting at Price Waterhouse? The look on her face was just like pure hatred towards him, she looked shocked and dismayed and humiliated. It's that look on your face where you have just been cussed out. I would know that look, I've cussed a few people out in my day. I thrive on that look, but that's another story for another time.

Number 2, Single Ladies is not one of the greatest videos ever. Just because Beyonce wears a bodysuit and prances around does not make it some sort of artistic vision. I would not put it up there with Thriller or my all time favorite video Weezer's Buddy Holly. Plus, that song annoys me, the premise is lame. If you liked it you should have put a ring on it. Umm, marriage sucks, don't encourage that, Beyonce.

Eventually, Taylor got hers because she kicked ass in her performance and Beyonce brought her up on stage at the end to finally give her speech. They were both very classy ladies, and Taylor won herself a new fan...I couldn't get that damn song out of my head the whole day. And so I illegally downloaded it. Thanks Ms. Swift.

2. Muse: God, how much does Muse kick ass? I love them. As my twitter stated, "Matt Bellamy, marry me, iwanttohaveyourbabies." And I do. And you know how I feel about the institution of marriage as above. They killed their performance so hard, MTV showed a little bit of Starlight as well. I can't believe this was their first American TV appearance, get your heads out of your asses, America and listen up. Muse is one of the best bands to come out of the UK in a long time, and they've been around for awhile now. Hope another one of their songs is on the New Moon soundtrack. I love Uprising.

3. New Moon Trailer. Okay, so Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson introduced the extended scenes trailer during the telecast. OMG. I already wrote about the trailer a few days ago when I saw it, and this one was pretty much the same, except that Edward says, "You can go to hell," in this version which is awesome. He really does look like shit in that scene, so good job makeup people. It's hard to make perfection look ugly. The same is true for the converse, which is why KStew was total win last night.

I'm not saying she's ugly, not at all...in fact, I kinda love her so I would never say that. But I just can't get behind her mullet. But last night, she had the party in the back all pinned up and the business in the front was all sideswept and she looked AMAZING. Her nude toned Valentino mini dress was adorable, and showed off her greatest assets, her legs. Her rock and republic shoes were killer too. Her eye makeup was perfect and for the first time in awhile (probably since MTV movie awards) she really looked worthy of Pattinson, who was totally ripped.

Does it matter? No, he was barely intelligible and he probably stank worse than some of my patients (although who doesn't like the smell of Bourbon mixed with Gin) but it does not matter. It also does not matter what he wore because he could wear a parachute pants and I'd still think him sexy. And oh god, Taylor Lautner. I'm going to abstain from saying anything that could be misconstrued as a sexual innuendo until Mr. Lautner turns 18. I'm just saying, whoever dressed him and tousled his hair just so deserves a freaking cookie. There were so many key moments, from TLaut and Shakira to Robsten just eye fucking the shit out of each other on stage to the actual trailer itself. I freaking love my DVR, you know I watched that shit over and over.

The picture above is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen (at least this weekend). That is a boyfriend hug. Poor third wheeling Taylor. I don't get Summit's worry that people wont' buy into Kristen and Taylor's chemistry if she and Rob date. Like real life Edward and Bella. That's great publicity. Plus, Taylor is like 12 years old, and obviously could not keep up with hard living KStew. Most people also realize that they are fictional characters, they've read the books so they know who she ends up with, plus, no one is rooting for Bella and Jacob anyway. Team Edward, baby.

4. Going Gaga: I really like Lady Gaga's music. Put poker face or Just Dance on and I will bust a move, guaranteed. I don't really get her schtick though, like it feels like she is just trying so hard to be edgy. It feels tired. Plus, she actually does look like a dude. And she has the strangest accent I've ever heard, it's like not American, but it's not any other recognized union either.

5. Pink's acrobatics. Holy crap. I'm not really a huge P!nk fan, because I think she tries to hard to be in your face, but her trapeze performance was awesome. Like, that is some serious athleticism and vocal talent to be able to not huff and puff through that.

6. Adam Brody! Someone found him! I thought I saw his face on a milk carton, he'd been missing for so long. Unfortch, he got forced into doing some shitty movie called Jennifer's Body with Megan Fox and the effervescent Amanda Seyfried (who will always be Mean Girls Karen) by his captors. Whatever, I'm glad he's still alive and looking pretty nerdy hot still. I hope he has a dartboard with Hayden Christensen's photo on it. I loved me some Summeth.

The other performances were all pretty decent, and Russell Brand obviously wasn't really allowed to talk this year, so that was good. There's only so much nasally British I can take.

---

On a serious note, RIP Patrick Swayze.

The Twilight Saga New Moon: making people buy tickets to shitty movies

2009-09-12T06:34:00.000-07:00

The official New Moon trailer is being shown before the Citizen Kane comparable movie Sorority Row this weekend. I believe this is the movie with Audrina Patridge, which she probably is spectacular in because she's already got the zombie dead eyes. If you ever meet me, you should ask me to do my impression of her face, it's pretty spot on.

I have to break this trailer down, it is so fantastic. I mean, Chris Weitz is a genius. I have to say it. The man made American Pie and About a Boy, two of my favorite movies ever. Like, I watched About a Boy two weeks ago, and fuck me, Hugh Grant is awesome. I digress though.

Oh shit, the Volturi. Michael Sheen looks so freaky when he's breaking that guy's neck...although I guess anyone would be if they were killing someone. Oh Edward. He looks like a dad wearing that blazer, seriously, where'd he get that from Carlisle's closet? Regardless he looks like a DILF.

"Promise me you won't do anything reckless." Kristen Stewart looks like she's going into a conniption when he tells her she doesn't belong in his life. And she sounds all guttural when she's having a nightmare about him. People have been having conniptions about the color of his Volvo. No, it does not look like silver. It's still a Volvo, and it's still a total dad car, why doesn't Edward get a sporty little Bimmer like Rosalie? He really is like 108 years old, the only age where that kind of car is appropriate.

KStew looks totally hot in the motorcycle scene, her hair is all reddish and blowing in the wind. Too bad Jacob has to go and ruin the scene by existing. "I know what he did to you, I'd never hurt you." Well, Jacob that's because you suck. If you love someone you have to let them go sometimes, and Edward did it to protect her, no matter how totally lame that was. You are selfish and continually want to expose her to the wolfpack, where she could totally get hurt. Have you not seen what Sam did to Emily? Asshole.

Yeah, and don't grab her arm to stop her from going to save Edward, k? Thx.

Alice looks so cute when she's driving her porsche. Oh Edward in front of the Volturi, that scene is going to be so badass. He looks so wan and pained. And shirtless, definitely shirtless. KStew's all running through a fountain and screaming. That penultimate scene where Demetri is slamming Edward down on the ground and then the logo flashes is kickass.

Man the wolfpack fighting Laurent looks awesome, and closer to what I was imagining for that scene. And oh god, more Volturi. Apparently that scene is all about beating the shit out of Edward. The last part of the trailer where Dakota Fanning says, "This may hurt just a little," gave me chills.

I'm glad they had a lot of Alice and Volturi in this trailer. Not so much Cullens or Jacob. They gave a little taste of Italy and the wolfpack (who by the way, have amazing bodies, like holy shit). There was some action, Rob shirtless, Charlie Swan, and Jessica (whom I love in the movie). They did such a superior job on the makeup for this movie, it's unbelieveable. They even got a song from Death Cab on the soundtrack!

It looks way less cheesy than the other trailer did. When I first saw the trailer for Twilight, I hadn't read the books and as I was watching, two things flashed through my mind.

1. Cam Gigandet is such a douche. And I'm sure he's not in real life, but judging from his role as Volchok on the OC, and now as long flaxen haired baddie vamp James, I just want to hate him. He is very, very sexy though when he's not in James character. This was the first time I'd seen him since the OC, so that bad taste was still in my mouth.

2. This movie looks so effing lame. Like, Edward jumpin' around trees, stoppin' a truck, sayin' cheesy lines to Bella. He looks like a crazed meth addict with that hair and those expressions. I watched the trailer again the other day on the DVD, and I cringed. Knowing nothing about the books and seeing that did not make me want to see the movie. Really, "Forever begins now," in sparkly lettering? Is that how that's going to go?

This New Moon trailer might actually make people who aren't fans want to see the movie, the special effects look badass, the action is there, there looks like something more than just a love story between an awkward girl and her vampire boyfriend. Only 69 days, huzzah!

Call me Alice Cullen...

2009-08-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

Because I'm clairvoyant. Did I not totally call it? Robsten are totally doing it. You may have recalled when in this groundbreaking post I broke it down and gave evidence of their obvious hookup. The longing glances, the late night taxicab rides, the hotel rendezvous. Yeah, pretty much more of the same, except they are being much more public (or much less careful) about things.

It was only time. If a sexy british man blubbers everyone he's in love with you and serenades you with emo shit songs on his guitar, you will succumb. It's a scientifically proven fact.

Exhibit 1: Comic Con

They didn't have much interaction there possibly due to intervention from Summit peeps. The studio should know by now that wild horses couldn't keep the sexual magnetism of these two apart. But, it was the first reunion since the filming of New Moon wrapped, and there was much awkwardness. According to the US Weekly, Kristen freaked out about what to wear! What a 19 year old. Who cares what you're going to wear, sweetheart, it's going to end up in a dirty pile with his clothes anyway. And neither of them are any sort of cleanly these days.

They always had Taylor Lautner standing between them like some sort of celibacy wall (he is 17), and the two barely interacted at all, save for some really awkward looking photo ops. It was almost as if they had never met each other. I think that was nerves plus they hadn't seen each other in awhile and it's always kind of awkward in that way. Plus Kristen was having a bad mullet day. The mullet has looked better. The mullet can be mighty.

However, they did stay on the same floor of the Hard Rock in San Diego (which of course translates into sex because you can't stay on the same floor of a hotel and not do it) and Rob did convince KStew to ride back to LA in his limo (fancy pants). Reports were that she gave him the cold shoulder because of his alleged dalliance with Evil Tess and that he was trying to get her back. I still don't believe he hit that. I'm sure RPattz totally effed a ton of chicks in NYC, but I prefer to think they were nameless models with no souls.

Exhibit 2: Teen Choice Awards weekend

RPattz made his way back to Los Angeles after wrapping up Remember Me in NYC. Seemingly, as soon as he checked into the Chateau Marmont, there were Robsten sightings abound. First, they were seen at Bobby Long and Marcus Foster concerts. Don't worry if you don't know who they are, they are friends of RPattz whose fan base is probably mostly made up of Twi-teens and their horny moms. Trust. She was then seen hanging out with him on his hotel room balcony, leaving his hotel early in the morning (GASP), and going out to lunch with him. Lunch date = fucking. And it's not only her going to him; no, KStew does not play that way. RPattz was seen driving a hunter green Boxter from her family's house in the Valley. THE VALLEY.

First of all how the fuck did he get there? And don't say by car, because that's just smart alecky. I mean, I lived in California for 18 years and I couldn't make my way to the valley. Rather, I refuse. He's from effing the UK. WTF. Like, he must be in fucking love with her if he's willing to drive out to BFE.

Those sightings along are more than we've had in like two years of speculation. They are either getting sloppy, or they just don't give a fuck who cares. Everything is really purposeful. Like celebrities are very fucked up in the head. They always complain about having paps follow them around, but then they turn around and stay at the most visible and famous celebrity hangout in LA. Like, if you don't want to be followed or found, why don't you stay in Pasadena or even Downtown (the horror). The pool at Chateau is crawling with hollywood snitches and another word that rhymes with that. Celebrities subconsciously want to be found because they thrive from the attention. That's why they went into acting. Duh.

Evidence #3: Kings of Leon

By now, everyone who cares has seen these photos. And if you haven't, you can go crawl back under the rock from whenst you came. Now, you can be in denial and say oh they are just talking, concerts are loud. You would be a damned, dirty liar. They are clearly making out and there is no disputing it. Hear that? It's millions of hearts breaking around the world.

I go to a lot of concerts. Big, little, indoor, outdoor, etc. I consider myself somewhat of an authority on concerts. Yes, I will give you that they are loud. The decline on my audiogram can tell you that. But in my experience, I nor anyone with me has ever had to turn a complete 180 to speak. If you shout in someone's ear who is sitting next to you, they'll hear it. He is not simply talking to her.

In their defense, a Kings of Leon concert is like basically aural sex, so it could have just been the environment that pushed them into making out in public in front of a bunch of paps. But then, you don't see Taylor Lautner and Nikki Reed going at it...Taylor is probably smarter than that. Nothing against Nikki, but she dates Paris Hilton's ex. Make of that what you will.

Pictures are a thousand words and from these pictures I deduced several things. Rob is drinking a Heineken keg can, as is the underage Kristen. They smoke a lot, as does Jackson Rathbone. Kellan, the one texting, probably doesn't even like KoL but since everyone else was going, he didn't want to be the loser left out. I've also learned that Ashley Greene is the smartest cast member...well except for the nude pics, but what did I say about actors above? She's all up on Xavier Samuel (Riley), and he is hot. She's also allegedly hooked up with Chace Crawford, Adrian Grenier, and Ian Somerhalder. Get it girl.

On to Robsten, they are laughing, leaning in and talking, he's clearly enjoying the music. She is leaning back in the chair, her feet up against the railing, and he is shoving his tongue down her throat. She may have a mullet, but she is a smart, smart girl. Kellan is taking pics with his phone because it's so hot he wants to save some for later when he's back at the hotel by his lonesome because he's got no costar to hook up with...pobrecita, Kellan.

They've started filming Eclipse, and I guarantee you this is not the last we've seen of the Robsten PDA. I love it.

Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

2009-08-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

Nihir, Suchit, Deep and Nick accompanied me to the Green Day/Franz Ferdinand concert at the Sprint Center last Wednesday. For some odd reason, we almost all were delayed for one reason or another. Seriously, it was like the medicine gods were pointing and jeering at us while we all waited to be released from our respective medical duties. It's not like I don't like being in the hospital (actually I kind of don't), but it's more like when my work is all done and I'm ready to leave, I don't want to deal with a fucking lame ass trauma. Which of course is exactly what happened at 4 PM, right as I was about to give check out. We'd finished her workup, but our attending wanted me to stitch up a laceration. I sewed that shit with three interrupted sutures in less than 2 minutes. No joke.

Fast forward, we got there and missed some of Franz Ferdinand's set. They were playing Do You Want to when we got to our seats, and apparently we missed No You Girls and Michael which kind of sucks because those are two of my favorite songs. Luckily I saw them at their fucking fantastic show at the Beaumont earlier this summer. They played Take me Out, Lucid Dreams, Jacqueline, This Fire and Ulysses to round out a fantastic, upbeat, energy-charged set that was appreciated by no one except for us and a few kids in our section. I've never seen a more terribly matched opening act for Green Day than them. I LOVE FF. I really do, but they deserve much better than the Green Day crowd...both bands are just in two different genres. It is a testament that GD would pick them, that means they have good taste, but they were a little ambitious thinking their fans would like FF. It was a treat for me though, so fuck every one else.

That was just the beginning of a pretty bizarre night. Green Day is this band that has had so many hits...like there were songs I totally forgot they had. In the beginning, they played songs about being bored teenagers. The album Dookie came out when I was 7 years old. I remember Basket Case was the first video played on MTV at midnight in 1994 because it was voted the number one song of 1993. This is one of the albums that played pervasively throughout my youth. Everyone was into Green Day, their songs were inescapable growing up. Their sound changed with cuts like Time of Your Life and then the whole Warning album, and then they became uber political with the hugely popular American Idiot. They got real preachy with that album, and they were preachy during their concert.

Their whole schtick has always been anti-suburbia/middle America. They denigrate religious zealots and fanatics...championing leftism and punk rock and the like. Which is funny because they were playing a show in the Bible Belt, the exact culture/part of America their songs poke fun of. This mockery was very evident in the way Billie Joe said "Kansas City" about 8920375038 times. Before every song, during every song, and during his stories. He said fuck way less times. To prove the point that Jesus freaks are crazy, Billie Joe "saved" a little girl on stage in true evangelistic style during East Jesus Nowhere (very apropo). Billie Joe Armstrong seriously put his hand on her face and pushed her down onto the stage. It was very strange, and I'm not gonna lie...I think we were a little uncomfortable. I guess he made his point though. Touche, Billie Joe Armstrong.

Luckily, they diffused the awkwardness with a lot of hits from Dookie, Nimrod, American Idiot and a smattering of new songs from 21st Century Breakdown.

Their set was pretty simple, the main one was lit up buildings a la the opening of Gossip Girl. I don't think that was the intent. They also had TV screens that sometimes showed a manic looking Billie Joe, surprisingly less manic looking Tre Cool, and always calm and collected Mike Dirnt (who has always been my favorite). One of the coolest moments was when Billie Joe pulled up a girl from the audience and had her sing Longview. She didn't miss one lyric. I would be petrified.

The most amazing thing about the show was that it was 2.5 hours long. Other than the Cure, I don't think I've ever seen a band play that long continuously. The show was very high energy, and they sounded actually better than they do on their records. The energy was especially at its pinnacle during the songs from Dookie...except they didn't play When I Come Around, my all time favorite Green Day song. Apparently, they don't like playing it or something. It is arguably their most famous song, so it kind of sucked that they didn't play it.

I am very surprised at the sustainability of BJ's vocal cords with the way he screams everything. The man is 37 years old. He practically invented black eyeliner on dudes in rock bands. They've been playing for a long time. Some of their songs are apart of the ever growing soundtrack that I've set to my life. When I was in my second year at college, I was really really depressed. Like, I probably needed some Lexapro depressed...I hated everything about that time. That was about the same time American Idiot came out and specially Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Those lyrics still can make me cry to this day.

Song of the Century
21st Century Breakdown
Know Your Enemy
East Jesus Nowhere
Holiday
The Static Age
Before the Lobotomy
Are We the Waiting
St. Jimmy
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
J.A.R.
2000 Light Years Away
Hitchin' A Ride (he had us sing 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4...right into the next song)
Welcome To Paradise
Brain Stew
Jaded
Longview
Basket Case
She (one of my all time favorite GD songs)
King For A Day
Shout (The Isley Brothers cover)
21 Guns
American Eulogy
American Idiot
Minority
Macy's Day Parade Acoustic
Last Night on Earth Acoustic (probably the most fucking romantic song they've ever written; off the new album)
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)

Of course they ended the night with that song. So predictable. Overall, very good concert.

Next one: tentatively Weezer and Blink 182 (more bands that shaped my SoCal youth).

Don't You Forget About John Hughes

2009-08-09T16:44:00.001-07:00

We lost an American institution to coronary heart disease this week, John Hughes. This man was one of the most celebrated film directors of the 1980s. I mean, he wasn't like a Scorcese or a Coppola, but he directed a ton of memorable, age defining movies. He made light movies that people enjoyed and could watch again and again. From feel good comedies to awkward teen romances, he owned the 80s. He single-handedly made Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall. Created them out of a rib I think. He was most known for his work with the Brat Pack, he literally defined the genre, but he was also a writer on movies like National Lampoon's Vacation, Home Alone, Beethoven, and 101 Dalmations (the one with Glenn Close, obvs). Plus all his movies had stellar soundtracks. So as a tribute, this is my countdown of my favorite John Hughes movies.

No Pretty in Pink is not on the list. Why you ask? Well, I have a real problem with the ending. I feel like Molly Ringwald should have ended up with John Cryer and not with Andrew McCarthy. And obviously I was right...John Cryer is one of the highest paid actors on television now...Two and a Half Men. Andrew McCarthy had a bit role on Gossip Girl this past season, so yeah, I stand by my choice. Great freaking soundtrack though--Echo & the Bunnymen, OMD, Psychedelic Furs? Amazing.

5. Weird Science. Take two awkward guys who can't get laid (Anthony Michael Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith). Add a computer stimulation project gone awry, creating a sexy, badass super-being (Kelly LeBrock...who was hotter than her in that movie, btw?) who helps them gain confidence and out wit the bullies (one being Robert Downey Jr!), thus gaining them the hearts of two cute girls. Then set it to an Oingo Boingo fueled soundtrack. Awesomeness is the result. Really, it's the modern day Frankenstein.

4. Sixteen Candles. Who didn't love Jake Ryan in the 80s? This is probably Molly Ringwald's best role, Sam Baker, geekyish nobody who is in love with the popular senior who doesn't know she exists. Seriously her life sucks. Her family forgets her birthday... her sweet sixteen...because they are all really fucked up and plus her sister is getting married the next day. Somehow there's a foreign exchange student staying with them, Long Duk Dong, and even he finds a girlfriend when Sam is forced to take him to a school dance. Anthony Michael Hall is this geek who is in love with Sam, cue the famous panty flashing scene, but he inexplicably ends up with the Prom queen when she gets completely shitfaced and is broken up with by Jake. Everyone knows the climax of the movie, the quintessential scene of the 80s, the kiss over the birthday cake. As a female, I think it's one of the best scenes ever.

3. Some Kind of Wonderful. This is a severely underrated movie, judging by the fact that I've been searching for it in stores for awhile now, and it's not available anywhere. Yes I'm aware I could purchase it on the internet, but for some reason I don't like doing that. The premise is time tested, Mary Stuart Masterson has a huge unrequited crush on her best friend Eric Stolz, who has a huge unrequited crush on the effervescent Amanda (Lea Thompson). Let the awkwardness and teen angst ensue. This film marked Candace Cameron's first role too, as Eric Stolz's little sister. Unlike Pretty in Pink, this movie has a happy ending, and the two best friends end up together, and the world is right. This movie gives hope to the cute, smart, funny best friend...because you know you're more like that girl than the glamazon hot chick.

2. The Breakfast Club. This is my favorite Brat Pack movie, and one of my all time favorites in general. It truly has stood the test of time, and has been the inspiration for many a television show and movie (i.e. the Dawson's Creek episode that ripped it off). The premise is simple, what happens when you put a princess, a jock, a criminal, a brain and a basket case together in detention? Magic. That's what. And dancing...in a library. That scene at the end where Judd Nelson puts Molly Ringwald's earring in his ear set to Simple Minds' Don't You Forget About Me? Perfect cinematic ending. And Emilio Estevez unexpectedly falling for the made over cute-as-a-button Ally Sheedy? Amazing. The reason why Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) gets detention? Frighteningly clairvoyant. Everyone is represented, and that's the point. The point is that no matter who you are, what niche your personality fits in, you have a little bit of all those characters within you. You can relate to every single one of them. There is no better example of a teen movie. This is it. If you had one movie to pick from the Brat Pack genre, you pick the Breakfast Club. It is defining.

1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This is the quintessential 1980s movie. I have never met anyone who didn't love this movie. Save Ferris. I mean, who doesn't want to be him? Ferris is the most popular guy, he skips school, drives Cameron's dad's Ferrari, goes to a Cubs game, pretends he's Abe Froman, sausage king of Chicago, dances in a parade. And he beats antagonist (and later real life sex offender) Mr. Rooney. There is nothing Ferris Bueller is incapable of, but yet it's a movie about his self-consciousness about leaving everything behind when he graduates. Everything about this movie is awesome, there isn't one scene that sucks. Matthew Broderick was brilliant, but it's his words that made the movie...and John Hughes wrote those words. Oh yeah.

Follow up post: SBTB Reunion, we made it happen!

2009-07-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not so sure that I made it happen, but I certainly prayed for it every night before bed and signed the online petition, so I'm gonna take the credit.

I'm so heading to Costco to buy this shit tomorrow when it comes out on newsstands. I have to, it's my favorite television series of all time. Like, the only thing that will come close is when they have The OC reunion (really, what is that cast up to these days other than Ben McKenzie who was on southLAnd and Cam Gigandet who is freaking so hot right now), if they can get Mischa Barton sober...which, well not looking so good right about now. She's turned into the real life Marissa Cooper in that episode she got all drugged up in Mexico and was almost taken advantage of by those seedy Mexican men. Let's hope she doesn't get Volchoked again (I heart you Cam!).

I digress.

People magazine is total win, first RPattz last week with the scintillating headline "HIS MESSY LOVE LIFE: hookups, rumors, and a love triangle-but what he really wants is his costar" and now this!

A. That kind of speculative commentary will put you firmly on my good side, People Mag.
B. Saved by the FUCKING Bell! I love that Dustin Diamond was excluded from this...probably because he is a filthy individual who makes porn for sexual deviants and because he seems like a major doucher. But I ask, where is Mr. Belding, Dennis Haskins? He was one of the first people who agreed to do the reunion.

Mark-Paul looks gorgeous as usual, Mario looks way better now than in his Slater days (he's probably the most visible cast member today), Elizabeth actually looks decent although everyone remembers her now as Nomi Malone in Showgirls (won't ever live that one down, Jessie). Lark has had some rhinoplasty or something because her midface just isn't right, but she looks okay compared to before. Tiffani's weave could go, but she looks aight too.

All hail Jimmy Fallon by the way, I cannot wait until he has the whole cast on his show. I bow down to you, Mr. Fallon.

B-B-Buh-buh-B, GO BAYSIDE!

I know I'm like five months too late with this post.

2009-07-19T17:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been awhile since I updated this thing...I'm on neurosurgery, so sue me.

So far this month, I've drilled five burr holes into various skulls, placed an extraventricular drain, done countless rectals (yay for spine call...not) and drained two subdurals. It is truly frightening to think that I have sewn into a living person's dura...like that shouldn't be allowed, especially if you've seen my physiologic tremor. Yay for being a surgeon!

But, I don't want to talk about neurosurgery or being a doctor...I want to talk about Twilight.

Obviously.

So, it has come to my attention that there have been some pretty rampant rumors about my favorite sparkly vampire actor and his co-star. I'm talking about Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart if you're not in the know (I will refer to them as Robsten from here on out). Now let me preface by saying that I am a fan of this pairing, even though it is of little consequence to my life or the lives of others around me. "Shipping" as they call supporters of a specific coupling, is probably the most irrelevant thing on the planet, but there is something so inexplicable about wanting two people to be together. It's not like me willing for something to happen between these two people is going to actually make something happen...I understand that fully, but it doesn't stop me from reading gossip sites and mags and hoping that the speculation is true. It's very odd and I'm not sure I'm proud of that. Whatever.

First the internets were all abuzz at the prospect of Robsten being together, with Rob hopping on a red eye to see his supposed love in LA a few weekend ago (huge speculation, as if he'd have no other business in LA than to see her), and there was news that KStew might be pregnant. Now reports are that he's dumped her for Emilie de Ravin, his latest costar. I will refer to her as Tess because no matter what projects she chooses, even if she one day wins the Nobel Peace Prize, she will remain hated in my heart for tearing Max and Liz apart on Roswell. Tess is pure evil. I am not a fan.

I read Robert Pattinson news all day long on my iPhone...one of my favorite sites, Robsessed, always has tons of pictures to keep me satiated. You can find tons of pics of him every single day. Like, actually like every hour of the day. Check it out, you'll see why every woman in America wants a piece. These sites posting these pics from his Remember Me movie set keeps the paps in business, which I'm sure he's thrilled about. I personally like the ones where he's shirtless on the set of New Moon in "Volterra."

Let's address rumor # 1: Are they or aren't they?

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, the conclusion is...I don't know. You thought I was going to have some concrete evidence, didn't you? No, fooled you, suckers. Really though, it's inconsequential if they're together right now. I think they have a deep connection between costars, and well you can't really get more deeply connected than the way I'm thinking. I can tell you that when they were filming New Moon, they did seem to have a higher level of comfort with each other, which seems appropriate since they'd already worked together on the first movie and spent numerous weeks alone together on a grueling press tour.

Who sits like that exactly?

There were the late night bar sojourns in which they looked very "friendly" (I always look that friendly when I'm drunk though) and the shared cab rides back to their respective hotels where their legs were all entwined and shit. Then apparently Kristen shouted out Rob's name during a pivotal scene between Bella and Edward. Real life blurring the lines of reel life? Only Robsten (and probably most of their bodyguards and handlers) know for sure. Along with that, there were reports of stolen kisses and a rendezvous in Italy, which, well if you're going to have a rendezvous, have it there!

I seriously died that this point.

Then there was the MTV Movie Awards. Oh the MTV Movie Awards, when I felt my uterus weep as they had their almost kiss...that was so painful for me. They do have electric chemistry, and they are both gorgeous...I mean, like I said, if I were her and I had the opportunity, I'd probably rape him. Like, it would literally take negative exertion from him to get me on him. The morning after, the two were caught saying their early morning goodbyes behind a tinted car window after spending a night in a bungalow at the Charlie Hotel. Now, hotels are usually big, they've usually got more than one room, but I don't know if you're acquainted with this hotel...it's pretty fucking romantic. Like, I would not take my mom there. But, KStew's mother was actually present that AM for the sendoff as well. Interesting. Let's leave it at that.

Then there's the whole Michael Angarano thing. He was KStew's long time boyfriend before this Rob Pattinson dude showed up and fucked things up for him. I say "was" because I haven't seen pictures of them together since early in New Moon filming. He's been in LA, and she's been in LA, and yet they've not been seen together...curious. I'd fucking beat my boyfriend if we were in the same city and we didn't see each other. Plus, she is rarely seen with former BFF Nikki Reed, who is an Angarano friend and former alleged Pattinson paramour. If KStew and RPattz are doing it, things would be a little awkward between the three of them, to say the least.

Look closely at the watch. What a difference a year makes.

There is something that works against this theory though...and I think I may be the only person on the whole world wide net that has thought about it. She still wears Angarano's tan leather wristwatch. How do I know it's his? He was wearing it at the MTV Movie Awards last year when he arrived with her. She was still wearing it while prepping for the Runaways (she looks awesome as Joan Jett by the way). Maybe she just really likes the watch or maybe she wants to twist the knife in a little deeper, who knows? It's kind of weird to keep wearing your ex's shit though. Usually you want to douse it with gasoline and grin as the flames flicker around it.

Haven't you guys seen Waiting to Exhale?

Trust me, it's the same watch. I've done hours of research on this. By hours I mean minutes. 60.

Rumor # 2: Is there a Pattinson bun in the oven?

Okay this was completely ludicrous. Some Aussie rag reported that KStew was preggers with Pattinson's lovechild. And while most women in the world wished it were them, I'm pretty sure this is not true. Their evidence was a picture of her alleged pooch. Okay, I'm not sure if you know this Australia, but by your calculations of her girth, every woman in America is about 50 months pregnant, me included. Just kidding, I think I could pass for only 3-4 months tops. Okay, okay 5-6. Geez. Critical. If I were to have a baby, it would be made of beer and pizza. I allege that Kristen is a healthy young girl who is still about a size 2, and she has had to squeeze her butt into painted on leather pants that were so inexplicably popular in the 70s. Thank god we're so over that time period. Heinous.

Trust me when I say she's not pregnant, I'm a doctor. And if she is, hope she gets good prenatal care, because she's been smoking up a storm lately. Can you say intrauterine fetal growth restriction? Not good.

Could you imagine if they did have a kid together? It would have the BEST hair.

Rumor # 3: RPattz and KStew and dunzo.

Smoldering. And this was before the rumors were apeshit.

Now, I don't know if I believe this, solely on the fact that I don't actually believe they are "together." You can't be broken up if you are not together, it's as simple as that. Now, that's not to say I don't think they've hooked up. They've certainly fucked, that's clearly the case...look at KStew's bedroom eyes when she looks at him. And everyone knows that he's had a crush on her from the very beginning, and he's made no secret of that to her, to their costars, or to the media. Persistence pays off, and when it's coming from the biggest movie star in the world, no woman's resolve is that great, especially when she's 19. Seriously, I could talk a 19 year old into doing pretty much anything as long as it involved free liquor. Really, if you throw in two young, sexy like-minded people (kinda grungy alterno hipster cool), they will probably at the very least hit it off and do it.

If you look at the picture above and then look at some of the pictures now, you can see a difference in Kristen's body language. Above, she's keeping him at bay, standing far enough and not quite meeting his eyes, while maintaining a look of admiration. She has a small smile for him, while he's checking out her boobs. You go, RPattz.

But let's face it, Pattinson is living in New York while filming Remember Me this summer, and KStew is in LA filming the Runaways. That's kind of far apart. Now, absence may make the heart grow fonder, but he's got like serious tail shoved in his face at every angle. I don't know any 23 year old guys who'd be all like, "Oh, but there's this girl I really care about, but I'm not really exclusive with, that I'm saving myself for..." Please. If he smokes, he pokes, and well RPattz smokes a lot.

I still don't believe he'd be with that evil Tess though, not when there's all of New York for the taking. I feel bad for him, RPattz can't hand someone his coffee cup without the media writing it up as his latest conquest. He can't do anything without paps or fans or stalkers chasing him. That's a miserable way to live. Actually at that point, it isn't really living, and you can see the strain on his face.

Although it doesn't matter what I say, I do hope the Robsten rumors are true because at least he seems happy when he's with her. They truly seem to enjoy each other's company because they are simpatico with each other--I mean, same music, same books, same movies, same temperament. They get it. And I would much rather have him be with her than some Hollywood skank like Paris Hilton. She at least seems awkward and scared and unpolished. The girl's favorite book is East of Eden, endearing her to me forever as a fellow Steinbeck aficionado. She likes Iron & Wine! She seems like she has depth at least, which I don't see emanating off the likes of Miley or Lindsay. She seems like a normal girl reacting to the insanity of fame--yeah, she might come off as bitchy or standoffish, but if I had fucking retards asking me the same questions on interviews and I was painfully shy, I'd probably be seen the same way.

Actually, I'm not famous and people see me like that, so I understand. I say let's see what happens when they start filming Eclipse, but for now I am firmly ensconced on the side of Team Robsten.

No diggity. NO DOUBT.

2009-07-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

So, Nihir and I went to see No Doubt and Paramore at the Starlight two weeks ago.

It was fantastic. After a grueling day on Neurosurgery, I was biting my nails hoping that I would be released from my hospital duties before the start of the concert. I made it with forty-five minutes to spare. Phew. I love seeing concerts at the Starlight, it's an open air theater with great acoustics. The weather was perfect for a concert, a rarity in KC in the summer.

We drove out there, missing the first act Bedouin Soundclash, but shortly thereafter, Hayley Williams & Co. emerged, starting off with Misery Business. I just want to say that she is the cutest person ever. Like, with that flaming red hair and her petite frame bouncing around all over the place, she's just adorable. Nihir is in love with her, and I can't blame him. She's all kinds of sweet. And her vocal range was really tight, she sounded great.

They of course played That's What You Get, and crushcrushcrush and some new material too...but you know what everyone was waiting for, Decode from the Twilight soundtrack. Everyone went apeshit over that finale, and it was incredible. God love the new iPhone for having videocamera capability because I totally recorded that shit.

Eventually, No Doubt took the stage and OMFG. Their stage was incredible. It looked like the Encounters revolving restaurant at LAX, like an alabaster spaceship/spider thing. Now for those of you who don't know me, Gwen Stefani is my idol. I adore her so much and I would probably take a bullet for her. I love her that much. She and I share the same hometown of Anaheim, California and she's been a huge part of my life since I was ten years old. No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom was one of the first two CDs I'd ever purchased with my own money (the other being Oasis' What's the Story Morning Glory? on the same day).

This was my fifth time seeing No Doubt. They just keep getting better and better. They are a well oiled machine even after not putting out a new record in 6 years. The sound was tight, and the setlist was killer. You don't realize how many awesome songs they have until you see them in concert, it's just hit after hit. Adrian had his jockstrap tutu thing going on (I sort of preferred when he wore the diaper actually, which is weird), Tom was looking delicious as usual, especially when he pulled out the acoustic guitar for Don't Speak. I died. And Tony, oh Tony, I love you. He was just amazing as usual. I admire Tony probably the most in the band because he was the one who spurned Gwen into writing all of these great songs. Like that guy dumped Gwen Stefani...he's like beyond the pimp stratosphere.

Overall, the quality of music was incredible. Add Stephen Bradley and Gabe McNair, who have been with the band forever, these are a fine group of musicians. They're not just some fly by night pop band. They're the real deal, and it was evidenced by how good they sounded.

And Gwen looked stunning, stupendous, fly, sexy, gorgeous. Everything. Her abs are like a twelve pack, and god her makeup and hair. I just...love her. Obsesionado. This woman has two children under the age of 4. Best MILF ever. Jesus, it's not even fair. While they were playing certain songs, they had these film clips playing in the background that the band had shot which were totally cool. They were like spies or being chased or Gwen/Tony were the bad guys in a Bond film. Like totally rocking.

Gwen bantered with the crowd a lot during this show, more than I've ever seen since their early days. She pulled a lucky fan on stage to take a picture after being bestowed with some cross-stitch patterns; they played Total Hate 95 for a fan who had a sign requesting it. She pointed out a lot of the fan made signs, actually, especially one that said "Mom Rock." She thought that was super cute. She's so down with the people. Sigh.

My favorites were Hella Good, Don't Speak, Running (complete with home videos of the band), It's My Life, and Stand and Deliver, which brought Paramore and Bedouin Soundclash to the stage again. It was all good though. Love them and can't wait to see them again.

Stand & Deliver with Paramore & Bedouin Soundclash

Setlist:
Spiderwebs
Hella Good
Underneath It All
Excuse Me Mr.
Ex-Girlfriend
End It On This
Total Hate 95
Simple Kind of Life
Bathwater
Guns of Navarone
New
Hey Baby
Running
Different People
Don’t Speak
It’s My Life
Just a Girl
Rock Steady
Stand and Deliver
Sunday Morning

RIP Michael Jackson 1958-2009

2009-06-25T16:43:00.000-07:00

Sad news today, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, died at the age of 50. Reports are that he had a massive MI or SCD and was found unresponsive at his home in Los Angeles at around 1230 PST.

Think whatever you will of him, but there will never be any one as relevant or famous as him in the realm of pop music ever again. I mean, you could argue maybe Madonna or Paul McCartney, but he has no where near the level of celebrity or fascination as Mr. Jackson did. He created and defined the word celebrity. It was his life that created the intense fascination that the world has with famous people and the whole paparazzi culture was invented because of him.

His music was loved by everyone. I'd be willing to bet that there is no one out there who can't appreciate at least one of his songs, whether you're young, old, whatever race, religion, ethnicity. His music affected and touched everyone. Billie Jean, Beat It, PYT, Don't Stop Til You Get Enough, Man in the Mirror, Bad, Black or White, Smooth Criminal, Thriller? The list goes on and on.

The events that transpired recently made him look like some sort of eccentric freak, with the plastic surgeries and the legal woes and what not, but it is completely understandable. He's been in the music industry, the grind, since he was like 3 years old. It started with the Jackson 5, then his massive 750 million record selling solo career, until now when he was about to embark on a 50 show tour in London. The man invented the Moonwalk. The one sparkly glove. That red jacket.

Strangely enough, my very first memory of life is of Michael Jackson. I can't remember anything before this moment which is very odd. I was sitting, 3 years old, in front of our old brown Zenith television watching the Thriller music video. My first memory of life is me being scared shitless by zombie Michael Jackson.

No one will ever be a bigger artist, and he was surely be missed.

Real Tourists of NYC aka Amy, Pig in the City

2009-06-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

Get it? I went to the home of Jill Zarin (yay!) and the transplanted Whitney Port (ew), for a few days at the beginning of this month with Brandon. BTW, NYC Prep on Bravo is a television show made just for me. I love watching over-privileged youth complain about the atrocities of their lives on the UES while wearing Lanvin flats and Milly sundresses and riding in their town cars through the streets of Manhattan.

But I digress, New York City is the best city in the world. I love it, even though every one of its residency programs dissed me like will.i.am dissed Perez Hilton. Well, not exactly, but close.

We checked into our hotel in Times Square and immediately went a walkin' through the Garment District in search of Papaya King. We ended up eating at a similar hot dog eatery in Penn Station, then we made our way to the Empire State Building and went up since Brandon had never been.

Then we went to my all time favorite, the NY Public Library. It's like that scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's every time I go to the Rose reading room. Sigh. NY is so romantic. Esp with St Patrick's and Rockefeller Center and Paley Park (the teeniest park ever). Brandon then obliged my shopaholic side in the UES, and I got some Pinkberry. I miss it. We walked through Central Park (read: a lot through Central Park) and then back down through Hell's Kitchen in search of some pizza. That first night, we subwayed it down to Chinatown, where Brandon was thoroughly disgusted, and ate at my favorite Vietnamese Restaurant in NYC, Thai Son. Then we covered Little Italy, LES (shed a tear at the former site of CBGBs, damn you John Varvatos), Nolita, Soho, Noho (should've stopped at Pravda), the Village, then up to Union Square Park (and the Strand!) where my legs threatened me with a knife to stop walking and get back on the subway.

On Day two, my legs threatened to strike, but I ignored them like Stacy Karosi ignored those Mexican cooks and walked like an uncoordinated robot the entire day. We trucked it down to the LES and ate bagels and lox at Katz's Deli. Of course, we had what she was having. After breakfast, we went to Washington Square Park which is one of my favorite places ever. After that, we went back to Soho so I could grab some chocolate madeleines from my ultimate fav Balthazar and go to the only US Top Shop location. We rode downtown to Ground Zero and walked around Wall Street and went down to Battery Park to look at the Statue of Liberty. Then we went back up to Bowling Green where we saw a man dressed as a giant panda asking for money. He wasn't actually doing anything, he was just dressed as a panda. Only in NY.

We stopped by the Chanel store where I replaced my lost signature sunglasses. We then cut through Central Park again, stopping in front of the Dakota, and went to Lincoln Center, walking back down to our hotel after stopping at Carnegie Deli. Best pastrami sandwich ever. And the pickles. God, the pickles. That was worth the trip alone. We later met up with our friend Jessica who took us to the East Village for drinks at this awesome little pub called Dempsey's where they were having like a fiddle concert and then to a fantastic Italian dinner at Frank. Dude, my meatloaf/ginormous meatball was amazing. We totally had a NY moment when we were seated thisclose to the table next to us and the woman scoffed at our discussion of the pros/cons of High School Musical. Yeah, she can f off, even if I am not team Efron. I'm jealous though, Jessica's living the dream...ah to be young and chic in NY. Instead, I'm an aging semi-hipster in Kansas City. FML.

The next day, we ate some more deli food before heading to the MOMA where I totally dug the piece with the Smith's album covers and "Portrait of the Laryngologist Dr. Mayer-Hermann." That's me, I'm doing ENT.

Anyway, we shopped a little before going to 'Wich craft (amazing tomato soup!) in Bryant Park. I missed Robert Pattinson by a few hours, he had been in Bryant Park that morning. This is like the 80th time I've said that. It still irks me. It irks me because undeserving little teenyboppers are like pushing him into the street so that he gets clipped by cabs, but I can't even maul him. I swear to Carlisle Cullen, if one perfect hair on his perfect head is harmed, I will smack a twitch (I think you can figure out what combo of two words that is).

We actually cabbed it up to the Met, so that I could eat lunch on the steps and have my Blair Waldorf moment before going in. The Met is my favorite museum in the world. I've spent days in this museum, literally. I love the Temple of Dendur. They also had this cool exhibit on supermodels and were like blaring George Michael's Freedom 90. In the eternal words of Lisa Turtle, "I love art. Are we art? Is art, art?"

We then went up to Jessica's place on the UWS for a wine and cheese party. It was very New Yorky, with a varied cast of characters. Even though I don't think I was the oldest, I felt old. Everyone was like a member of the workforce. Although, I'm not really sure what working in quote unquote finance really entails, everyone seems to do it. They had a really great deck where we drank wine and listened to MGMT; it's a huge apt for NY standards. We went to Shake Shack for a midnight dinner, and it was so the East Coast stepchild of In-N-Out. It was good though.

Last AM, we went to Cafe Metro, these cute little chain of breakfast cafeterias. Then I got the world's best cupcakes (Hummingbird) at Magnolia bakery. I love this city.

OMFG WATCH THIS RIGHT NOW.

2009-06-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, I love Dawn. She alerted me to the best video I've ever seen in my entire life. I'm not exaggerating. This is why we're friends, because she's totally awesome and we like the same non-intellectual things.

I had promised myself I wouldn't post anything until I started writing about my exciting whirlwind life, starting with the NYC, but this is too good to wait.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar on Jimmy Fallon. Ordinarily, you would probably think, yeah, that's pretty cool, he's a good actor, etc.

Um, yeah, except he totally did the entire 9 min interview as Zack Morris. He dressed like him, had hair like him, even had the retro 90s cell phone and the ability to "time out." Literally, did not break the facade for one second. It is the most genius thing ever, and this is why he may move up to position #2 on my list of ten fictional men I would marry. Sorry, Bruce Wayne. I love that MPG has a good sense of humor because some actors do whatever they can to get away from roles that defined them in their youth (read: Elizabeth Berkley). I salute you, Mark-Paul, you are confident in your ability as an actor and that makes me actually respect your work.

I love SBTB. Plus, he and Jessie Spano are totally in for the reunion! Come on, Tiffani-Amber and Dustin Diamond. You better cave and recreate the magic.

The person who uploaded has disabled embedding, so follow this link ZACK ATTACK

And to reward Dawn for being an awesome friend, this New Moon book cover tie in with the movie. It is awesome, and I'm totally not even Team Jacob.

How many days until Taylor Lautner is 18?

back in the saddle again...

2009-06-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

I've been totally delinquent in the past few weeks...there's just been so much stuff, I can't handle it.

Since we last visited, I...

... went to New York for a few days with my boyfriend. I missed Robert Pattinson walking in Bryant Park by several hours. FML. Probably for the best, as I didn't need to get arrested for assault before I started residency. I don't think they look kindly on that sort of thing.

...went home to Orange County and had a big graduation party (Swear it was larger than a lot of weddings I've attended).

...got an eponymously named twitter account (infamyous, follow me).

...went to Japan and Taipei. Bought a lot of Hello Kitty stuff. Took 1000 pictures. No joke, my Asian roots finally surfaced during this trip.

...went back home to Orange County and got a new Louis Vuitton purse! Oh and celebrated Father's Day.

...got the new 3Gs iphone. I don't think I've ever loved until now.

...came back to Kansas City and am currently sitting in the corner, silently consoling myself while the tears rapidly fall out of my eyes.

Just kidding, that's a little dramatic. The tears are more easing their way out of the lacrimal glands. Each one of those events noted above deserves its own blog post, and I'll get to it, someday. Tomorrow, I start Residency orientations. I get the dreaded pager, but I also get my coat and keys, etc. I start on Neurosurgery, someone up there either really loves me or really hates me, I'm not sure yet. I'll find out during my first call, which is conveniently on July 4th. If you live in or around Kansas City, I beg you, do not play with fireworks or firearms because if you accidentally maim yourself in or around your head, I'll be the one taking care of you. The odds are already not in your favor.

My name is Amy, and I'm addicted to Twilight.

2009-05-31T20:14:00.000-07:00

I seriously shouldn't act this way. I am a 24 year old adult. I am a medical doctor. Like, I'm seriously ashamed at how retarded I get about this Twilight stuff. It's a sickness. I seriously watched a paparazzi video of Robert Pattinson eating dinner the other day. I've never felt more dirty in my life.

And I'm also like shaking whenever he is shown on my tv screen. It's beyond me having a crush on Edward Cullen. I have a full-fledged crush on this 23 year old kid (I am 24). I think it goes without saying, I would sex him. Hard. Seriously, I've meet five year olds who are more appropriate than me. At least who can keep it together and not lose their shit at the mere suggestion of this guy.

New Moon trailer = fan-fucking-tastic. The birthday party scene? I was not even coherent. I was like looking around my empty apartment for some sort of consensus on the awesomeness of that scene. OMFG. I loves me some Jasper. Like obsesionado with Jasper. Edward is of course perpetually emo and distressed and dead sexy. They really sexed Kristen Stewart up for this movie because she looks a lot cuter. And um, I would so statutorily rape Taylor Lautner. I'm just saying...that boy has the best body I've seen in a long time. Dare I say even better than these pictures that I've been surreptitiously looking at all week.

The transformation was pretty badass, even though Jacob totally looks like an Akita we used to have. Someone's been working out...As Dawn (fellow adult female Twilight fan) says, we are going to jail. Just slap the handcuffs on me now and take me away.

Twilight even forced me to watch the 2009 MTV movie awards to catch a glimpse of my boyfriend. I was not disappointed. Thank God for rabid Twilight fans who probably got carpal tunnel from texting and clicking so many times to vote. All worth it, ladies. There was a lot of him.

Robert Pattinson is so fucking hot. And he was hot while wearing a decidedly probably really ugly on a non-movie star navy blazer!!! Plus his undershirt was showing, which is usually a turn off, but I'm totally into it now. And I never thought I'd say this, but Cam Gigandet is fucking hot too. He played Volchok on the OC, and actually he plays a real asshole in everything he's in--but he and RPattz picked up the award for Best Fight, and I wanted to lick the TV. If I wasn't aware how completely unsanitary that is, I would have. Anything to be close to you, Edward Cullen. Anyway, Robert also made an allusion to shitting himself while accepting the award for Breakthrough Male which is strange and yet unsettlingly arousing to me.

The real surprise here is that I think I have a crush on Kristen Stewart now. She accepted the award for Best Female Performance, and she straight up dropped her popcorn statue in the most awkward Bella Swan moment ever, exclaiming, "I'm exactly as awkward as you thought I would be! Bye!" Plus, her dress was killer and she wore Converse with it. I love her eff-you attitude. As a person who has been misunderstood for being standoffish and aloof, I relate to her. She is a badass. Don't ever change. Plus, she and RPattz cannot keep their hands out of their hair in nervousness. It makes me palpitate when they do it.

The worst part of the night was when the pair won for Best Kiss...and teased the fuck out of their faithful audience including me. They made a big show out of the preparation, with RPattz saying, "I have to remove my gum..." and then they slowly, painstakingly moved toward each other, as Robert's eyes were closed in anticipation, his nose resting on her forehead. It was hot. Oh, that I were a hair on her forehead. Sigh. And then Kristen splashed a bucket of cold water on everyone by turning to the camera and blurting out, "Thank you so much!" Without. Kissing. Him. Even though it was so obviously rehearsed, I think Rob was still a little disappointed (as was the rest of the world i.e. me). Like, I don't know if I believe the rumors that have RPattz and KStew hooking up off set...I think they are obviously very close friends and have a lot of chemistry and mutual understanding of each other...but I'm just saying, if I were her, I would take the opportunity and sex him up. This opportunity presents itself very rarely, Kristen. Carpe Diem. So that we may live through you, please. K, thx.

Obviously, twilighters were out in full force because they won 5/7 awards they were nominated for, excluding Best Song (Paramore was robbed by Hannah Montana) and Best Villain (deservedly won by Heath Ledger, sorry Cam hotness), and including Best Picture. Yeah. The Oscars this is not. I'm like totally okay with that though. MTV is a network that perpetuates Spencer Pratt's fame, so what were you expecting? BTW, who else is excited that Kristen Cavalleri is returning to "reality TV" on the Hills? I'm over LC anyway and haven't watched the show in like three seasons.

Andy Samberg was a good host. His opening sequence where he supplants himself into movies was hilarious--especially the Slumdog and Twilight scenes. "Hey, who is that?" upon seeing Edward Cullen. He also did a homemade New Moon trailer with TEEN WOLF. Awesome. Kings of Leon were sexy of course, and knowing that all but one are younger than me makes me want to kill myself.

The real trailer:

Kristen Stewart:

Best Kiss:

Oh I'm going to NYC tomorrow for vacation...and guess who I just found out is starting to shoot his new movie there this week? I'll be stalking...I mean seeing you, RPattz. Shout out to my boyfriend who has been very good natured about my obsession with another man. He knows to not get in the way though. Happy summer everybody!

I don't practice Sangeria.

2009-05-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been a little delinquent on my Recipe of the Week, sue me, it's graduation week. Because I'm feeling charitable, I'm giving you a twofer on summertime beverages.

This one is a good one though...my infamyous Sangria.

1 bottle of Red wine (I prefer Shiraz for its more berry quality, but whatever works)
4 oz of frozen mangoes
3 oz of frozen mixed berries
2 apples, cored and chopped
1 orange, finely sliced into wheels
Sugar to taste

It's best to keep all the fruits skins on to capture their essences, so make sure you wash them well.

Start with the apples, oranges, berries and mangoes in large pitcher. Add the red wine, and mix well. Slowly add sugar in tablespoon increments until you reach a bittersweet taste. Refrigerate for at least an hour before tasting again. The fruits should have broken down a bit, so it will be sweeter, but if it has not reached your desired sweetness, you may add more sugar. Enjoy!

Mango Mojito

You'll have some frozen mango left over from the top recipe if you're only making one pitcher of sangria. With the leftovers, puree it up in a blender with a little bit of water for a thinner consistency.

4 mint leaves, plus one for garnish
2 oz lime juice
1 oz Mango puree
1 oz Simple syrup or 1-2 tsp sugar
2 oz white rum
2 oz club soda

In a highball glass, place mint leaves, lime juice, mango puree, and sugar/syrup. Using a muddler, lightly muddle the ingredients. Add rum. Add ice to the mix you've muddled, and then stir in club soda. Take a shaker and shake mojito between tumbler and shaker until mixed well.

DUNZO.

2009-05-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

Like the kids of Laguna Beach used to say, we're dunzo. Today was the last official day of medical school. Well, actually not yet, I am actually sitting in medicine clinic right now, blogging since I have no one to see. I just picked up my cap and gown, I'm ready to go.

I feel like this day is really anti-climactic, since I've been waiting for so long. Aside from the obvious, like basic medical knowledge, taking a history and physical, and general diagnostic skills, I don't really know what else I've learned.

I have not changed that much since the beginning. My bedtime is a little earlier, I may not spend as much time on Facebook and I probably have outgrown a few items of clothing, but other than that, I'm at baseline. I've remained stable, which is a term we always use to describe our patients. It fits perfectly here...I've remained stable throughout the years. I certainly haven't achieved the inner growth and maturity that this school tries to force upon us with our touchy-feely courses (but, to be fair to myself, I think I was operating at a high level of maturity prior to medical school). I got older, and maybe a little bit wiser, but probably not. Let's be real here, I'm the same ole Orange County girl. Seriously, I just referenced Laguna Beach.

This was me four years ago. I used to have luster in my hair and eyes, and an all around youthful glow about me. Look at those chubby cheeks.

This is my residency picture from this year. I know it looks like I had rhinoplasty, but I assure you that I did not.

What I'm really proud of is the fact that I went to 40 concerts during the 6 years I was here...the standouts include Madonna, the Police, 311, Rilo Kiley, Something Corporate and most recently, Franz Ferdinand. It's important to me that I kept up my #1 hobby, music, while I was here. I saw the Trojans win the Rose Bowl. I met Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson (yeah, that was a long time ago). I traveled to Eastern Europe, Western Canada, South Africa. I matched in Otolaryngology.

The end of the year is usually bittersweet, I guess. People are all saccharine and emo, but I like to look at it not as an end, but as the beginning of real life. Real life starts now.

Actually it does, because the last patient was just grayed out as a no show. Stick a fork in it, I'm done.

6 year review in pictures and playlist to follow...

Official New Moon Poster

2009-05-19T15:39:00.001-07:00

They released the official poster for New Moon, which is like only 6 months away tomorrow! I like the background and I like the way RPattz's profile looks (his jawline is killer). I also like the way Taylor Lautner looks, except that Jacob is supposed to be a bigger, badder wolf in this movie, and he still looks smallish compared to the already waif-like Edward. I think Kristen's face looks kind of strange, and I think she's a beautiful girl, but somehow they photoshopped her weird. I think it would have been better if she was staring at Edward, while holding onto Jacob between her and him, rather than at us. I also think RPattz's hand is awkward, and would be better if it was clenched in a fist to beat the crap out of Jacob.

Apparently, the trio of RPattz, Kristen and Taylor are going to be presenting the first footage of New Moon at the MTV Movie Awards which is next Sunday, May 31st. Until then, they are finishing up principle filming in Vancouver with KStew and TLautner while Robert Pattinson frolicks around the South of France at the Cannes Film Festival looking really sexy. His hair is growing back, but at least he's discovered some molding mud. They will be in Italy filming the Volterra scenes next week, then they'll be done. Then they'll be back pretty freaking quick, August 17th they start filming Eclipse, which was my second favorite of the books. The cast has signed on for all four movies, so they better keep this money train rolling.

Nine days until I'm done with medical school, not that I'm counting or anything.

Go Lakers!

Lessons learned from Zack Morris aka Top Ten Best Saved by the Bell Episodes

2009-05-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, say what you will about Jimmy Fallon, but HE. Is. A. God.

Why you ask?

Oh, because he wants to get together the entire cast of Saved by the Bell for their 20th anniversary, which um...happens to be this year. OMFG.

Saved by the Bell is my favorite television show of all time. Note the present tense. I can quote almost every episode, since I've seen each one at least 15-20 times apiece (except for the Tori episodes, I like to forget that period ever happened). I grew up with the gang from Bayside. Literally, they were in my house every day, multiple times a day...on TBS, WGN, USA, TNT, and on our local KOCE channel. I still wake up early every day to catch 1-2 eps on TBS before I go to the hospital in the morning which makes me very pathetic, since I own the DVD sets.

So far, Dennis Haskins is the only one who has agreed, but let's look at the facts here: Dustin Diamond is obviously hard up for money, Elizabeth Berkley and Lark Voorhies are not really doing anything else, Tiffani Amber Thiessen is probably also available between TV movie gigs, and it is apparent that Mario Lopez will take any job, as he is hosting Extra. Mark Paul Gosselaar is currently a series regular on TNT's Raising the Bar with the mom from Malcolm in the Middle, Jane Kaczmarek. I think he would do it though, because he's awesome.

This is a picture Mark Paul and Tiffani Amber did a few years ago as a Zack and Kelly reunion.

To celebrate this stupendous news story, I've ranked my ten favorite episodes of SBTB.

10. Pipe Dreams. This was the perfect example of a dichotomy of greed versus social conscience. When oil is discovered on Bayside's football field, everyone is ecstatic at the prospect of having riches and fame, but when they realize the true cost of this discovery in the form of dead biology subjects, it doesn't really seem worth it, does it?

When they brought in Becky the duck all covered in oil, I cried.

Lesson learned: Don't trust the man, the man being big, bad oil companies. Especially if the man wears a Bolo tie.

Quote: Jessie and Kelly in unison: Stop the Drilling, Stop the Oil!

9. Fake I.D.s. The only reason this ep makes my top ten is because the sleezebag Jeff Hunter is found out to be a cheating bastard when the gang gets fake IDs to sneak into cool kid dance club, The Attic. To this day, I still dislike Patrick Muldoon. Did I say dislike? I mean hate.

Lesson: Don't be a cheating bastard. Plus, girls from USC are easily fooled into going out with anyone.

Quote: Jeff when caught by Kelly: It's not like we're going steady!

I love that it used to be calling going steady in the early 90s.

8. Palm Springs Weekend, part 1. This episode sets up the premise of Daddy issues for Jessie when he marries Leslie, a much younger fitness instructor (which was the whore occupation of the early 90s), and we all know what happens next...Jessie becomes a stripper in Las Vegas. Excellent foresight, SBTB writers.

Lesson: Fathers be good to your daughters, or they will end up schtupping Kyle MacLachlan in a pool.

Quote: Zack: Oh my gosh, I hit on your mother!

7. Boss Lady. I had to at least have one episode of the Malibu Sands Beach Club era, and this one is my favorite because the scene where they are making the old people eat really fast is very comical. And Screech really would take a metal detector onto the beach and cause a frenzy. And the way Kelly is so possessive of "her beach" is pretty classic. Jenny went all My Super Sweet Sixteen like 15 years before than show ever existed. I want, I want, I want...

Lesson learned: the art of negotiating with Mexican kitchen staff. We strike!

Quote: Slater says to Stacey (a pre-Scientology Leah Remini), "Way to go, Terminator 3," which is so indicative of the time period.

6. Screech's Special Sauce. The sauce you can buy, but the recipe, she's-a mine. Soleil Moon Frye is in this ep which totally elevated it in the ranks.

Lesson learned: This episode teaches about entrepreneurship and copyright infringement, but more importantly, that girls from Beverly Hills are shallow moneygrubbers.

Quote: There are a lot, but this one is a favorite. The girls: Mama mia, Papa pia, buy two get the third one free-a!

5. The Zack Tapes. Zack uses subliminal messages in the girls' Bo Revere tapes to get Kelly to ask him to the sweetheart dance. Screech dresses up as a new student named Barbra Bush to deliver said tapes. There was also some homoerotic undertones when Slater announces, "[Zack] is going to the dance with me!" and he puts his medallion on Zack. All around awesome. Plus, other than Mr. Dewey, Ms. Wentworth was my favorite Bayside teacher. Except for Tony Crane, that is.

Lesson learned: Zack...Zack...Zack...

Quote: Zack Morris is a blonde Tom Cruise.

4. Mystery Weekend. I feel like this is a really underrated episode. It's got intrigue, adventure, a twisted ending. Mr. Jamison is like super creepy, too. I've always wanted a mango tonic with a kiwi twist.

Lesson: When a man offers you vouchers, he's really trying to frame you for murder. Suspect everyone, trust no one.

Quote: Jessie: Are you really going to drink that? Lisa: No, it goes with my outfit!

3. No Hope with Dope. In one word, would I do dope? Nope. That quote pretty much sums up my life. Thanks, Zack Morris and the late Brandon Tartikoff, for teaching me that drugs are bad.

Lesson: Come on, this ep was one big PSA. Also, it taught me that people in Hollywood are douchers.

Quote: There are a lot, but one particular from Johnny Dakota stands out to me, "I don't need this aggravation!" He said, in true 90s Hollywood asshole fashion.

2. Wicked Stepbrother, part I. There is a lot to this two parter. Zack pretends he's Jewish to get out of school and go to the Dodgers game. Slater is hired to install a CD player into Mrs. Belding's new Miata. Jessie's mother gets married and she inherits the step-brother from Hell, Eric. Eric is from New York, and you can tell this because he's got greasy hair and a devil may care attitude. He also leaves the toilet seat up and blackmails Slater and Zack, who get him back by trying to catch him in the act of driving Mrs. Belding's car. Unfortch, Lisa ends up driving and crashing, and they are effed.

Lesson learned: Don't trust guys from New York. Just don't do it.

Quote: Lisa: Zack, you are meshugenuh.

1. Jessie's Song. I'm pretty sure this is everyone's favorite or at least it's the most memorable episode when Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills. Screech dresses up like a janitor named Sinead O'Conner to record the girls. We were introduced to Hot Sundae, which I actually really like their song, Go For It! Put your mind to it, go for it, you're gonna break a sweat. Rock n Roll you ain't seen nothing yet! It was better than anything Zack Attack put out.

Lesson: Hello, caffeine pills?

Who can't quote, "I'm so excited...I'm so excited...I'm so...scared!?"

Honorable mention to the Last Dance, Running Zack, Home for Christmas, The Prom, Cut Day, Operation Zack (is Lisa's mom really an orthopod?). I freaking love this show.

the weekly roundup

2009-05-15T18:12:00.001-07:00

-It was this man's birthday this week, buy him a drank! Happy belated 23rd RPattz! Now I'm only one year older than him...which is good because I'm sure he likes his women older and Asian...doesn't everyone? I mean that's why my mom's so popular right?

-And if I mention my mom, I have to mention that my dad has a blog. WTF? What alternate universe am I living in, where my dad has a blog that has more followers than mine? Blasphemy. Perhaps, if I wrote about something of value, people might read. Nah, I'll just stay true to my superficial self and talk about boys.

-The Ducks lost to the Red Wings, eliminating them from the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Expected, though disappointing. It's okay, Ryan Getzlaf is still pretty fucking hot. It was his birthday this week too, and he is actually age appropriate for me. He was born in 1985 also, making me only three months older than him. Look at those blue eyes, he's almost as hot as my boo Sidney Crosby. Here is Sidney in his younger, clean cut days. He's two years younger than me.

Hockey players are so sexy and underrated.

-The Lakers are on the brink of elimination by the hands of the Yao-less Houston Rockets. They are literally playing like shit, so no one is surprised. There's a documentary on Kobe Bryant airing on ESPN this weekend called: KOBE BRYANT, Doin' Work. It's a Spike Lee joint, which explains the title. Basically it's like watching a Laker game on DVD with the commentary on.

-At least the Angels handed the Red Sox a humiliating loss (Big Papi left 12 runners on base in the game, going 0-7) so the current shittiness of SoCal teams didn't drive me to do something drastic.

-The Royals have lost 6 in a row (including three to the Angels last weekend). Now there's the Royals we know and love. Huzzah!

-The girl who kissed Marissa Cooper topped the Maxim Hot 100 list this year. What? Leighton Meester is #12. Everyone knows I love her. I also love Chan Marshall who is a surprising #19. What makes it better is that Heidi Montag was like #88. I hate you Spencer Pratt. Lindsay Lohan was in the top 25, which invalidates the whole list, but what can you do?

-Neil Patrick Harris is hosting the Tony Awards. Before you say, "NPH wouldn't do that!" I beg to differ, yes he would. I re-watched the Showdown ep of HIMYM...so genius. Love him.

-Just saw a commercial for the new Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds chickflick. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that they end up getting together in the end. Yeah, I think I can skip that one. Betty White is in it though, and we should treasure every moment we have with her.

-Speaking of older women, we had a debate this week about the ranking order by age. Puma, cougar, lynx, jaguar, snow leopard? I want to be a snow leopard so bad, but at the rate I'm going, I'm not going to make it to puma. I'm fat and out of shape. Just in time for residency.

Recipe of the Week

2009-05-15T17:04:00.000-07:00

Since it is so un-summer-like here: thunder, torrential rains, me getting soaked to the bone, I thought the recipe of the week should reflect the upcoming season, and the anticipation I have for it. And nothing says summer more than potato salad...but with a twist.

Deviled Egg Potato Salad

2 lbs potatoes, cubed into 1/2-1 inch pieces
salt
1/2 c mayonnaise
1/3 c dijonnaise
1 Tbsp vinegar
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 c red onion, chopped
2 hard boiled eggs, chopped
1/2 c chopped celery

In a large saucepan, fill with water and bring to boil. Add the potatoes and some salt to season. It should take about 15-20 minutes to soften the potatoes, check tenderness with a fork (should be firm but not crunchy still).

In a large bowl, combine mayo, dijonnaise, vinegar, sugar and salt. Add potatoes, celery, red onion. Mix well. Add egg, and fold into the mixture. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Voila, you have awesome potato salad. But don't leave it out too long, that just breeds S. aureus...especially when I make it. Yum.

I HAVE ONE WEEK OF SCHOOL LEFT BEFORE I BECOME A DOCTOR.

Sorry, I just had to say it. I cannot wait. There has been too much drama and all about fuckery that this school has imparted in the past few months that I'm so ready to leave it all behind. The administrators have no idea how to run a successful program and actually celebrate their graduates. Instead, they beat us down and make us hate them even more with their idiotic rules and mandates. T-minus five days and counting. I'm not ready to be a doctor, but I'm ready to be done.

But, how fucked up is it that I'm gonna be a doctor? Don't actually answer that unless you have a death wish.

Keep fishin'

2009-05-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend went fishing today, so I got a chance to catch up on internet gossip, movies he won't watch, and books he won't read.

So this is the best coupling since Saylor (Selena and Taylor, get with the times): Cobra Starship and Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester on a song together called (I make) Good Girls Go Bad.

Cobra Starship is this pop punk outfit fronted by former Midtown lead singer Gabe Saporta that all the coolest kids love. All the kids including me! Their debut cd Viva La Cobra! was infused with a lot of tongue in cheek hits for the masses including Smile for the Paparazzi (as heard on the Hills), The City is at War (as heard as the theme of Top Chef: New York), Guilty Pleasure (as heard on every other MTV show) and my personal fav on the album, One Day Robots Will Cry. All of the songs are catchy, electronic infused pieces of pop magic and I love them.

Leighton Meester is Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl. BLAIR CORNELIA FREAKING WALDORF. For those of you who don't know, instead of reading medical texts, I like to read books geared toward 14 year old girls (i.e. Twilight, Speak, If I Stay). I have loved the Gossip Girl, It Girl, and The Carlyles series from Cecily von Ziegesar since I was in high school. I own every single book of the GG series, actually. These books are salacious, scandalous, and I can read them in about 2 hours, which is about how much free time I have per month. I sometimes like teen books better because books geared towards adult women have the kind of super annoying characters that remind me of the people who are around me on a daily basis. Teen books I can relate to, since it's already happened...it's like nostalgia just without the gratuitous drugs, drinking and sex.

Anyway, Leighton plays Miss Waldorf superbly on the CW series. Two of her other co-stars, Ed Westwick and Taylor Momsen are in bands also, Filthy Youth and Pretty Reckless, respectively. I think with this pairing, Leighton will be the most successful music-wise since she's hit the mainstream with a band that has a rabid fanbase. Her voice is pretty awesome, too. She was recently seen at the Star Trek premiere.

-Speaking of, saw Star Trek yesterday. Umm, awesome. I heart John Cho aka Sulu. In fact, I'm watching his episode of HIMYM right now.

-Speaking of HIMYM, Rachelle LeFevre was on the Moving Day episode which I also watched today. She plays Victoria in Twilight, her hair looks amazing in New Moon. See?

-Speaking of Twilight...since only like one person reads this blog, I'm throwing this in for her and me, because it's real life Edward and Bella! As much as this would be awesome if it were true (squealed in true fangirl style), I'm sure he was just giving her CPR or like looking for a lost contact...with his tongue...in her mouth. I'm seriously surprised it took her this long...have you seen him? I'd have hit that in like the first hour.

-Speaking of Kristen Stewart, I'm going to watch her movie Cake Eaters this weekend. It's about a girl who has Friedrich's Ataxia. She was also in a movie called Speak, and I finished the book it was based on this morning. See people, I can go all night with these segues but I won't because the Angels are playing the Royals soon. Gotta go watch.

Recipe of the Week: Mi Quang

2009-05-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a new feature for this blog, the recipe of the week. Since I purport this to be a lifestyle blog, I have to address the number one love of my life: food. According to mint.com, I spend about 75% of my money on food. If I had actually gone to a real college, I could have totally majored in all things gastronomique with a minor in fast food studies.

For Vietnamese people living in the Midwest, there aren't that many places that offer some of my favorite dishes...including Mi Quang, which is my favorite Vietnamese noodle dish, although it's more like a noodle salad. Typically, this dish would take a really long time to make, as there are a lot of different components, but I developed a quick and dirty version, with substitutes, that tastes just as good as anything you might find in larger Vietnamese inhabited areas such as Houston or Little Saigon in Orange County, where I'm from originally.

photo courtesy of baobingduong.org until I can upload my own picture

Mi Quang: Amy-erican style

1 package wide pho noodles
1 tsp Turmeric
1 Tbsp canola oil
1 white onion, chopped
1/2 lb ground pork
1 8 oz can of crabmeat (Caravelle brand is good) or fresh crab if you have it
5 slices of bacon (the dish is traditionally made with chopped up pork belly)
4 cups of water
1 Mi Quang seasoning cube (can be found in Vietnamese markets, caution contains MSG)
1 15 oz can of whole peeled tomatoes
1 shallot, slivered
1/2 lb jumbo deveined shrimp
1/2 lb fresh bean sprouts
3 cups spinach
1 loaf of cha or gio (Vietnamese ham loaf), cut into thin slices
1 package of banh da, which is a type of sesame cracker
crushed peanuts, cilantro and chopped green onions for garnish
fish sauce, pepper to season

Soak the noodles in a bowl of hot water with turmeric for 20 minutes or until soft. Drain and rinse excess turmeric off noodles with cold water.

In a large pot, heat oil at high heat. Saute onions until they are translucent, add ground pork and brown. Add bacon and crabmeat and continue to saute. When all the meat has been cooked through, add the can of the tomatoes. When everything is simmering, add four cups of water and the seasoning cube. When the soup is boiling, decrease heat to low. Add fish sauce and pepper to season.

In a different pan, heat some canola oil on high. Add the shallot and saute until softened. Add the shrimp and cook until slightly pink. Season with fish sauce and pepper. Take off heat.

In a separate pot, bring water to boil. With a metal strainer, place a handful of bean sprouts and dip into boiling water to soften the sprouts slightly. Place in the bottom of a large bowl. Place a handful of spinach leaves on top of the sprouts. Take a large handful of noodles and place into strainer and dip into boiling water to soften completely. Transfer the cooked noodles to the bowl. Ladle about a cup of the soup mixture over the noodles (the soup should not completely cover the noodles), make sure you get a good mix of the meat component of the soup. Place a few shrimp and some slices of Cha over the noodles. Sprinkle with pepper, and top with the Banh Da, peanuts, cilantro, onions. Don't put the banh da on until you are ready to eat, as they will get soggy. Then enjoy! This soup should make at least four servings.

It sounds a lot more complicated that it is, but it's so delicious when it's done. There are a lot of different ways you can make this, substituting lettuce for the spinach, adding crab claw, stewing pork bones to make a base broth, or adding red cabbage. If you are lucky enough to have a place in your town that serves Mi Quang, I would definitely partake and leave the hassle to the professionals, but I think my recipe is really good for a person who doesn't have hours to stew pork bones.

I'm starting to try and eat healthier, since I tend to overdo it on eating at restaurants. I've started to track myself on daily plate again. Live strong, baby.

The Match Game: Medical School edition

2009-05-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

I never got a chance to blog about our match day, but better late than never, I guess.

So, every year, on the third Thursday in March, medical students all over the country await their fate in the residency selection process. Match Day. Dare I say, it was probably the most important day in my life thus far which I guess isn't saying much. I digress, it is the highly anticipated end of a strenuous, trying interview season, which for some lasts from October to February. Not only that, but it is also the culmination of all the man hours, hard work, mental/emotional anguish, and straight up self-doubt and questioning that comes with being a medical student. If you weren't messed up already, don't worry, med school will fuck you up. Just ask this guy.

Match day is the unofficial end of the twisted and winding road (complete with the roadblocks and potholes of Pediatrics and OB/GYN rotations slowing you down) to becoming a doctor. At the same time, it signifies a beginning of the rest of our lives. Poetic, I know.

And it is so effing satisfying when it arrives because then you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Technically, a medical student finds out if they matched on Black Monday, three days before match day. That way, if they do not match, they can participate in the "Scramble" which allows them to apply for any unfilled positions.

In the weeks leading to match, I had a semi-nervous breakdown. Every night, I prayed that I would get into my first choice and I was constantly nauseated and was plagued with abdominal pain. I didn't want to go anywhere else. I was obsessed, every other sentence out of my mouth was "Do you think I'll get in there?" and "What if I don't get in?" and "If I don't get in, I'll ____ myself." I'm pretty sure my friends were contemplating taking me out back, Old Yeller style. Luckily for me, when I ripped open that envelope at 11AM CST, I saw my first choice, my home program.

Then I wept like the girl I am.

The thing is, I was trying to get into Otolaryngology residency, which according to the National Board of Medical Examiners was the fourth most difficult specialty to get into this year (integrated plastics, dermatology, orthopaedics). There were like 370 applicants for 250 spots or something. There are people who are absolutely perfect on paper who do not get into ENT. I am not perfect, on paper or in person, but somehow I made the cut.

It's a very gratifying feeling to know that someone out there wants you when they could have their pick of any other amazing candidate. I imagine this is how it would feel to win the Bachelor or Rock of Love or some other equally demoralizing reality dating show. Demoralizing because on the interview trail, you have the sell the shit out of yourself; you do things that you may not be proud of, and you try to focus on making yourself not look apeshit insane while trying to be memorable. As we've learned from those dating shows, sometimes this is not possible.

Interview season highlights include getting inebriated at my home program; singing 'Livin on a Prayer' during an interview; running through Chicago O'Hare, narrowly missing not one but two flights; visiting Charleston, Milwaukee and Minneapolis, where I'd never been before; and lastly, meeting a lot of cool people although the uncool people are the ones I remember most.

On match day, needless to say, there was a lot of celebrating. A lot. Of. Celebrating. When you start drinking at 1 PM, you tend to burn out real quickly (especially if you lack the aldehyde dehydrogenase enzyme as I do), so we didn't even make it past midnight. Another sign that we're growing up or at least growing old. But it was fun, and it was memorable, and it was everything one of the last gathering of our class should be. I'm not gonna get all emo about this stuff, because that might confuse people into thinking that I actually have feelings, but I'll kind of miss medical school when it's all over. I've known these people for 6 years, and it's been interesting to say the least.

We made with rain, with actual shredded money. We are filthy. And I love it.

Happy Cinco de drinko, folks

2009-05-05T18:57:00.001-07:00

-I'm abnormally excited about the latest coupling that rocked the tween world last week. Taylor Lautner is so cute (how many days until he turns 18?) and Selena Gomez is so the next Disney cash cow...erm, I mean big star. She's currently filming a movie called Ramona and Beezus (I LOVE BEVERLY CLEARY) in Vancouver where coincidentally, Taylor is shooting New Moon (199 days away!). Sneaky, sneaky, kids. She is so Rachel Bilson's mini-me. Miley who?

-I have been waiting for this forever. It's totally him, google a picture and compare the ears. Tupac is my favorite rapper of all time, and I'm not going to belabor you with the details, but I'm kind of pissed that he didn't resurface in 2003. For those of you not in the know, this all has to do with the number 7, which has played a prominent role in his life. 2003 would have been 7 years after his death. The Don Killuminati: 7 day theory album was recorded in 7 days. Pac died 7 days after he was shot, September 13, 1996 exactly seven months after his record All Eyez on Me was released. His time of death was 4:03 which of course when added equals 7. Yeah, I know too much about this subject.

-I really don't want to talk about this. I just can't watch anymore games. I hope Kobe doesn't have the swine flu...maybe that's why they didn't win. I don't know, but it better not happen again. Oh, and I really, really dislike Ron Artest...especially now that he has the most ridiculous fade in the history of all time.

-Speaking of swine flu, am I the only person who isn't concerned about it? I mean, it may have killed Edward Masen back in 1918, but umm...people, 101 years later we have something called modern medicine and antibiotics/antivirals (although their efficacy is questionable). Yeah.

-If Brett Favre plays for the Vikings next year, I will gouge my eyes out.

-GO DUCKS. That is all.

-Go Royals! Yeah, I'm just as befuddled as you are. $2 Turkeys for everyone!

Potpourri/Si se puede!

2009-05-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saw the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, starring the effervescent Matthew McConaughey (read in sarcastic tone) and Jennifer Garner. I actually really liked this movie, the critics totally panned it saying that the leads had no chemistry and that it was saccharine and lame, but you know what? In these trying times, you kind of just want the asshole douchebag guy to end up with his smart, witty first love because he realizes that she is good enough that he is willing to change his caddish ways.

Plus, you should never believe anything Ben Lyons says, I'm pretty sure he's public enemy #1. Last week, he literally referred to Seth Rogen as "Bro-gen." Buddy, you are not bros. You work in journalism, he has to talk to you out of obligation. Also, the definition of "bros" does not include you pleasuring yourself to pictures of the new lighter version of him.

Anyway, GOGP had a great soundtrack because all flashback movies allow the best music to be played. Some highlights:

Get Down Tonight by KC and Sunshine Band
Let's Groove by Earth Wind and Fire
Nothin' But A Good Time by Poison (my second favorite Poison song of all time!)
I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
6 Underground by the Sneaker Pimps (which forever reminds me of Val Kilmer's the Saint)
I try by Macy Gray
Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper (played during an especially funny scene with Emma Stone)
Holding Back the Years by Simply Red (how fucking ecstatic was I to hear this...it is still so relevant and awesome that we're still hearing this song in a new movie in 2009)

I'm totally hoping to not pigeon hole myself in the movie soundtrack blog category, but there have just been some great soundtracks out there. If you want that, go to ReelSoundtrack for a comprehensive music/movie blog.

Pros:
-Emma Stone, who I might be obsessed with now; Jules from Superbad! Come on, she's awesome. Her comic relief made this movie.
-Michael Douglas, somehow they unearthed Mr. Douglas for the role as Connor's legendary badass uncle Wayne, and he was perfect. It's that gravelly voice of his, he's a silver fox.
-Christa B. Allen, who played young JGarn in 13 going on 30 (another great soundtrack), is totally back playing young Jennifer Garner in this movie. Awesome, kudos to you, casting director.
-The rest of the cast was great, Jennifer Garner is as always, perfect with those cheekbones and those pouty lips; Breckin Meyer and Lacey Chabert who are apparently ageless, Camille Guaty (who if you are a Disney Channel Original Movie geek like I am, you will recognize as the lead in Gotta Kick it Up! Si se puede, indeed.)

Cons: Matthew McConaughey. I don't find him charming ever, but I actually didn't want to beat him up while watching this movie. I'm still putting him on the con side though.

--Jack Kemp died. He was the quarterback for the Buffalo Bills in the mid-sixties before there ever was a united AFC/NFC version of the NFL. After playing pro ball for many years, he served as Congressman in Buffalo for 18 years. Of course, he was then Bob Dole's running mate in the 1996 presidential election. This is relevant to me because Jack Kemp spoke at my sister's graduation from college at USC. So yes, it goes without saying, he was a member of the GOP.

--I forgot to mention this last week, but Bea Arthur passed. Now, she wasn't my favorite Golden Girl (that would be Sophia; Dorothy was supposed to be the reasonable one, but she kept Stan around and he bugged me to no avail), but she made that show. And that show made my youth. I'm sure this has been said by many a blogger, but thank you for being a friend, Bea.

--Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao = badass. He reminds me of a young Barry Bernabe.

--If you haven't already, read McBrandon's post on HydroxyCut. Jon Marshall, resident physician belongs at Tool Academy.

Choose Your Own Adventureland

2009-05-01T16:33:00.000-07:00

So, this post has been awhile in the making. I saw Adventureland last month and really, really liked it. It was very unexpected. Written and directed by Greg Mottola, most famously and awesomely known for directing Superbad, you'd think it would be a nonstop boob and dick fest, but it wasn't like that at all. There were some funny parts, but mostly it was about relationships and shitty situations and life. It was very real for a moment there.

First of all, it's set in the late 80s in Pittsburgh, providing the perfect backdrop of depressed desperation which is pervasive throughout the movie. 80s = automatic win.

Adventureland is a poignant, coming of age story about a recent college graduate named James (loveably awkward Jesse Eisenberg) whose parents, hard up on times, rescind his summer Europe vacation graduation present. Instead, he gets a nowhere job at a local decrepit theme park where, as always, there are a bunch of lowlifes and eccentrics hanging about. Amongst his zany co-workers is Em, a ray of light in the despondent universe of the Adventureland theme park. She is played beautifully by Kristen Stewart.

I am so team Kristen right now. Not only is she Bella Swan in Twilight, but she was so convincingly emo and flawed in this movie that you couldn't help but fall in love with her. You could totally see her appeal to James here (he's saving the damsel), even though she was having an affair with perennial scuzzbucket Ryan Reynolds. She picks great roles, everything from quirky independents to blockbuster vampire flicks which portends to a great career, if she wants it. And I think she's got this really anti-Hollywood thing going on. She's open with her honesty and frank rejection of any of the set 'starlet rules,' and she's not afraid to say what's on her mind. Plus her boyfriend is hot.

The best thing about this movie was the soundtrack. I love mainstream 80s music, I am actually obsessed with it, and almost every time I heard a familiar opening riff during the movie, I died a little bit more inside...of happiness.

Yo La Tengo did the scoring of the movie, which is another total win.

Stand outs include:

Modern Love by David Bowie
Rock Me Amadeus by Falco
Looking for A Kiss by New York Dolls
Hot Blooded by Foreigner
Pale Blue Eyes by the Velvet Underground
Don't Dream it's Over by Crowded House (!!!)
Let the Music Play by Shannon
I Want Action by Poison
Satellite of Love by Lou Reed
Point of No Return by Expose
Obsession by Animotion
Your Love by The Outfield (!!!)
Just Like Heaven by the Cure (my favorite song ever)
Breaking the Law by Judas Priest
Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
Don't Change by INXS

Soundtrack also includes Wang Chung, The Replacements, Rush, the Stones.

This is going to be a big movie weekend, I'm probably going to be seeing Wolverine and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (don't judge). I doubt those soundtracks will be as good as this movie's was, and I definitely recommend checking it out.

Oh, and Kristen Stewart, along with my current obsession Robert Pattinson and future obsession--when he turns 18--Taylor Lautner, is one of People's 100 Most Beautiful this year. I'm sure she's just thrilled about that. Yeah, she really seems to be the type of person who really gives a shit about meaningless lists and celebrity pandering.

I'm still probably going to buy the magazine though. I'm just sayin'.

Save Amy!

2009-04-30T15:45:00.000-07:00

It's healthy to ditch class now and then--Edward Cullen

On 4/27/09, in the vein of the great Ferris Bueller, I took the day off.

It is true that there was no singing Danke Shoen or Twist and Shout while wearing lederhosen on a Steuben Day (yeah, I don't know what that is either) parade float and we did not meet Abe Froman, sausage king of Chicago; but, let me tell you, plenty happened.

The irony was that I woke up at 5 AM, much earlier than I wake up for my current rotation. We made our way over to Firefly in Westport to attend the Buzz's Kegs & Eggs with Franz Ferdinand. I like Franz Ferdinand, not only because I appreciate their brand of upbeat alt pop rock, but because they named their band after an archduke. Not only any archduke, the one who's assassination started WWI.

Plus, their song Michael is the sexiest, hottest song ever.

But I digress. The band started playing 3.5 hours after we arrived. At least we got some subpar breakfast while we waited. They played an acoustic set of four...count 'em...four songs. That's one song for every hour we were there. Ulysses, Take Me Out, No You Girls, and Dark of the Matinee. On a whim, my friends went up to say hi to a local radio personality and she gave them free concert tickets to the Franz show. Totally made this the best senior cut day since the time when Zack had to keep Jessie and Slater apart at the Max because she was totally into that douchy environmentalist Graham. GO HOME PLASTIC FOAM!

Anyway...

Best. Show. Ever.

It was like a little over an hour of nonstop dancing and singing and sweating. The show literally made me feel young again. They sounded so much better than they do recorded, like I am totally obsessed with the live version of Ulysses and Auf Ausche. I'm not usually attracted to men who are skinnier than me (and that's not saying much), but I said this about Alex Kapranos: "He looks so sexy, I think I just got pregnant."

Best part of the night was that they played MICHAEL! That and the closing encore of This Fire, were the best two songs of the night. Take Me Out was of course a high energy crowd pleaser, as was No You Girls and Do You Wanna? but they played my song! Swoon.

Afterwards, we waited like groupies outside their tour buses. They finally appeared as I was stuffing one of Joe's garlic breadsticks down my throat. Of course.

Despite my garlicky breath of death, I stiff-armed some 17 year olds to talk to Alex Kapranos and Nick McCarthy.

Me: OhmigodI'msohappyyouplayedMICHAELcuzitslikemyfavoritesongever!

Alex: Uhh...great. Yeah. Cheers (or something equally as British, couldn't remember, I was freaking out).
This is what happens when you ask a rando 16 year old kid to take your picture with the lead singer.

Nick broke his foot, and I told him to keep off of it and elevate it. He of course, having already sought out medical opinion, knew this. He also knew about RICE. Good for you, Nick, good for you.

In conclusion, take day off, go to free concert, get free concert tickets, go to free concert, meet rockstars.

The moral of the story is don't stay in school, kids. Life is fun.

Men men men men manly men men

2009-04-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

McBrandon did his Top 10 list of his favorite fictitious females (alliteration!), so I made my own list. It really was just an excuse to google pictures of hot guys. I'm nothing if not unabashed.

1. Edward Cullen (Twilight)

Yeah, yeah I know. Call me dazzled though. Edward Cullen has changed the way I see men, much like #2 on this list. After reading the entire Twilight Saga in 5 days this past December, I fell in love. I fell in love with a bronze-haired, mind-reading, chiseled jaw vampire. Possessive, tortured, stalkerish, emo, caring, impetuous, self-controlled, moral. All of it, I want all of it. The greatest appeal of Edward lies in the inherent danger he possesses. I love the darkness...every woman loves a bad boy. He is not like a traditional "rebel" type though, that would be too simple. His is the worst kind of villainry because he wants to kill his soul mate, that's his inner conflict. Through the series, he is able to persevere over the monster inside and love her like no vampire has ever loved. Have you read Midnight Sun? In the retelling of Twilight from Edward's POV, he lusts for Bella's blood, and then imagines killing all of their classmates as collateral damage. How hot is that? Ultimately, I heart him because he sacrifices his every base need and desire by not killing her.

Like the Meatloaf song, he'd do anything for love, but he won't do that. "That" being ending Bella's life. Sigh.

Oh, and he drives an Aston Martin Vanquish. Need I say more?

2. Mr. Darcy (Pride & Prejudice)

My first true love, he is the reason I re-read Pride & Prejudice every year. God, I love his and Elizabeth Bennett's back and forth mental foreplay. He is such an arrogant bastard in the beginning, thinking that he is above everyone and that he can do and say whatever he wants without consequence. But you just know that he's perfect for Elizabeth because she's so haughty and prideful herself. He's a smart, wealthy, good looking, worldly and accomplished gentleman. Then he meets his mental match, and everything changes. When he makes his declaration for her in the end, oh my god, like, swoon city. The fact that his love for her changes the way he is, makes him better, is every girl's dream.

3. Batman/Bruce Wayne

Bruce Wayne is dashing, debonair and tortured at the same time. He's so vengeful and dark. I'm sensing a theme with my men here. Personality wise, he's a little aloof and a little bit cold, but he was orphaned at a young age and brought up by Alfred who isn't like Rick James in the party department. Aside from that, he wears the crap out of a tuxedo and the batsuit. He's also compassionate and charitable, and I love that he does not have to be the caped crusader. I mean he's really wealthy, so he could just hide himself away and drown in his sorrows. Instead he fights crime and protects the innocent because of his moral obligation to rid Gotham of miscreants while fighting his own personal demons.

Plus, the animated Dark Knight has got a jawline to die for.

4. Zack Morris (Saved by the Bell)

I had a crush on Zack Morris before I even knew I liked boys. I just knew I loved his all american sex appeal. It's the blond, surfer boy rascal personality that every teen idol in the 80s had (see Rick Schroeder, the Coreys, etc). He was after all, the "blond Tom Cruise." Preppie had something more though, he was so intelligent (scored a 1502 on the SATs, a feat both impressive and impossible since it is scored in 10s), always scheming and having a solution for every dilemma his friends at Bayside High had. Whether it was saving Jessie from the caffeine pills or auctioning off Lisa's clothes to pay off her credit card debt, he was always there to provide a quick and often comical fix. Also, how could you not have a Zack Attack when he called a "Time Out?" Other girls shared my opinion, as evidenced by the multitudes of women he courted throughout the series. But, as with all prince charmings, he found his true princess in Kelly Kapowski and they got married in the series finale movie, Wedding in Las Vegas. Zack and Kelly prom forever!

I still wake up extra early to watch Saved By the Bell on TBS. Sad, but true.

5. Marshall Eriksen (How I Met Your Mother)

Marshmallow! If you don't love Marshall Eriksen, I don't like you. He's the most kind, caring, loving gentle giant there is. He makes up little songs for his wife, calls her an adorable nickname (Lilypad), gets excited like a little kid, and is the best best friend Ted could have (Barney would object to this). A small town boy from Minnesota, he is loyal and tough and is an extremely multifaceted character. I mean, he's able to hold his own even though Ted is the main character and Barney is an overwhelming personality. Jason Segel just plays him as hilarious and totally awesome. He and Allyson Hannigan are the cutest thing on TV right now.

6. Ryan Atwood (The OC)

I was debating whether to put Seth Cohen or Ryan Atwood on this list and I decided on picking the latter. Seth was fine for comic relief, but the kid had self-esteem issues and could be too neurotic and panicky. Ryan, he was good through and through, even though they wanted you to believe he was a bad boy with a past because he was from Chino, shot through a grainy lens. From the day Sandy Cohen saved him, he proved to have the upper moral hand, showing everyone in the OC that they were a bunch of douchy hypocrites, and that he was the one who was an actually worthwhile person. Ryan was a smart kid and in the end, he proved all the naysayers wrong by becoming an architect and turning around and helping a wayward youth in return. I miss the OC so much.

7. Wolverine (X-Men)

It was really between Wolvy and Bruce Wayne for #1 comic. Ever since I was 7 years old, I've been obsessed with Wolverine. It's his tempestuousness. He is a badass, and when Cyclops was being all lame and fatherly, saying, "You can't do this, we could get hurt" Wolverine threw caution to the wind and did what he wanted anyway. He's dangerous and wanton and that makes him hot. Sure, the physical relationship would be a little dicey (pun intended), but the blades make it exciting, non?

8. Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl TV series, not book series)

Again with the bad boys. Chuck Bass is the biggest Basshole there is on network TV right now. He's conniving and scheming and manipulative; there is nothing he wouldn't do to get what he wants. And I love it. He is quick and has a sharp tongue, holding up with the best of them. He's the ultimate ladies man but he's surprisingly complex when it comes to dealing with his relationship with Blair Waldorf, his female counterpart. Even though I will forever love Nate Archibald and Blair together in the books, on TV Chuck is king. He is ridiculous, and he has the most wonderful sneer.

And who else could pull off purple satin pants with a pink ascot? Well, I mean other than the Joker that is.

9. Dr. Christian Troy (Nip/Tuck)

First of all, he's a plastic surgeon. Secondly, together the team of McNamara/Troy were the McSteamy and McDreamy before Grey's Anatomy ever existed. Those guys are totally lame and wimpy compared to Dr. Troy; he paved the way for badass surgeons everywhere (except for maybe Dr. Peter Benton). Christian was sexiness and bravado and talent rolled into one hot designer suited package. Of course, he almost got HIV, was the target of an obsessed serial mutilator, fathered his best friend's son, and was the biggest manwhore in Miami, but you know nobody's perfect. Don't judge.

10. James Bond

The ultimate in debonair gentleman, James Bond is the whole package. He's obviously in top physical shape, has intellect to boot, and is apparently invincible. Since he's a secret agent, he's definitely mysterious, there would always be peril to keep things exciting. Downsides, he's a little bit of an alcoholic, plus he probably has at the minimum, dozens of STDs. He also drives an Aston Martin (we'll forget about when he drove the BMW Z3 roadster) and has access to every cool gadget in the world. Christmas would be so awesome!

Is it weird that more than half of these guys could give me herpes?

If U Seek Amy

2009-04-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

Since McBrandon wrote about his top 10 fictional women, I decided to make a similar list, except I decided to do a list of Amys. I feel like the name has fallen out of favor in recent times (top 20-30 baby names in 2000s, huge in the 80s), which is unfortunate. I love my name, and apparently Britney Spears (or her team of songwriters) does too.

In descending order:

5. Amy Wong "Out of this World Amy"

This is an inside joke, but she looks like me. I mean, look at her calf to ankle ratio--she's got cankles, too! I totally got this picture off a "Top 50 Animated Hotties" site, a website true in its perversion.

4. Amy Fischer "Notorious Amy"

I'm not saying I condone her because I think what she did was pretty deplorable. But no one can deny that she's got balls. I mean, she had an underaged affair with a guy named Joey Buttafucco. I mean, I can't even type that guy's name without smirking to myself. Earning the nickname Long Island Lolita, she shot her lover's wife, Mary Jo, in the face. Hell hath no fury like an Amy scorned. Remember that. She's now a porn star, which is where all infamous 'celebrities' go to pasture.

3. Amy Winehouse "Insane in the Membrane Amy"

Oh, what to say that hasn't already been said about the beehived one. She wins most insane Amy for obvious reasons. Apart from her constant coked out antics, she is a very talented singer. Imagine if we could get her off the sauce, she would be unstoppable.

2. Amy Adams "Without a Doubt Amy"

So, I haven't actually seen any Amy Adams movies except for Catch Me If You Can. She is obviously very talented and on the up and up, since she's already been nominated for 2 Oscars, and even sang on the telecast a few years back. Plus, I really like her style, especially her Oscar dress jewelry. I thought the huge collar of jewels was striking, so take that Debbie Matenopoulos. She has an impressive and broad resume, and I'm really looking forward to seeing Sunshine Cleaning Co.

1. Amy Poehler "God Love ya, Amy"

I want to be Amy Poehler. This Baby Mama literally steals every movie she's in (Mean Girls! What's up, girlfriends! I'm the cool mom!), and her baby daddy is Will Arnett! Plus, she's on that new Parks & Recreation show that looks like the Office, when it was still funny. I miss you Michael Scott.

Honorable mentions go to Amy Grant, Amy Smart, Amy Tan and Amy Lee.

this is so going on my blog...

2009-04-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

While thinking up titles for my blog this morning, being a wholly original person, I thought how about a play on words? Way to have an original thought, right?

This is my third blog. This time I've partaken because I'm totally copying Brandon and Barney Stinson (that guy's awesome). You know what they say about imitation and flattery and all that.

My first one, the eleventh grade debut "It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the bell" was not only a blatant copyright infringement, but also a whole mouthful to say. The second still semi-active one is KC Foodie. At least that one is self-explanatory.

For this new foray into the blogosphere, the only specification I had was that I wanted a one word title--short and to the point. Which is the opposite of the writing style of this blog.

First, I thought of words that had the letters ENT in them, as tribute to my chosen medical specialty. Umm yeah, big mistake. Do you know how many words have the letters ENT in them? A lot...and actually when I was thinking up usernames for this Otolaryngology website I used to visit, I was going to choose studENT because it spells out stud ENT. I am very creative.

Words that almost made the cut: precedENT, anteceDENT, resiDENT, testamENT, lamENT, inclemENT, even indecENT. The last one would still be in the running except that I always get a mental picture of Demi Moore and Robert Redford doing it when I hear that word.

The ENT thing would be fine except, I will probably not blog about medicine, so it's pretty moot to give tribute to ENT without ever talking about it. That hardly seems fair.

Next, I looked for words with the letters A-M-Y in them. After rejecting monogamy, bigamy, and polygamy, I found the perfect word.

Cockamamy. I know, right? And yes, you can spell it that way.

Definition: ridiculous, pointless, or nonsensical.

If this blog isn't that, I don't know what it is.

Blogger wouldn't let me have the title. I searched for another blog thinking some amazing person had already beaten me to it, but nothing. Will they not let me have the title because it has the word cock in it? That's unfair, I'm sure they'd let someone have the words title or titular or proclitic or cliticize. And then there's my favorite word with my name in it, chlamydia. Fun for everyone. Honestly though, those words are much dirtier than cock am amy.