the weekly roundup

-It was this man's birthday this week, buy him a drank! Happy belated 23rd RPattz! Now I'm only one year older than him...which is good because I'm sure he likes his women older and Asian...doesn't everyone? I mean that's why my mom's so popular right?

-And if I mention my mom, I have to mention that my dad has a blog. WTF? What alternate universe am I living in, where my dad has a blog that has more followers than mine? Blasphemy. Perhaps, if I wrote about something of value, people might read. Nah, I'll just stay true to my superficial self and talk about boys.


-The Ducks lost to the Red Wings, eliminating them from the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Expected, though disappointing. It's okay, Ryan Getzlaf is still pretty fucking hot. It was his birthday this week too, and he is actually age appropriate for me. He was born in 1985 also, making me only three months older than him. Look at those blue eyes, he's almost as hot as my boo Sidney Crosby. Here is Sidney in his younger, clean cut days. He's two years younger than me.

Hockey players are so sexy and underrated.

-The Lakers are on the brink of elimination by the hands of the Yao-less Houston Rockets. They are literally playing like shit, so no one is surprised. There's a documentary on Kobe Bryant airing on ESPN this weekend called: KOBE BRYANT, Doin' Work. It's a Spike Lee joint, which explains the title. Basically it's like watching a Laker game on DVD with the commentary on.

-At least the Angels handed the Red Sox a humiliating loss (Big Papi left 12 runners on base in the game, going 0-7) so the current shittiness of SoCal teams didn't drive me to do something drastic.

-The Royals have lost 6 in a row (including three to the Angels last weekend). Now there's the Royals we know and love. Huzzah!

-The girl who kissed Marissa Cooper topped the Maxim Hot 100 list this year. What? Leighton Meester is #12. Everyone knows I love her. I also love Chan Marshall who is a surprising #19. What makes it better is that Heidi Montag was like #88. I hate you Spencer Pratt. Lindsay Lohan was in the top 25, which invalidates the whole list, but what can you do?

-Neil Patrick Harris is hosting the Tony Awards. Before you say, "NPH wouldn't do that!" I beg to differ, yes he would. I re-watched the Showdown ep of HIMYM...so genius. Love him.

-Just saw a commercial for the new Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds chickflick. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that they end up getting together in the end. Yeah, I think I can skip that one. Betty White is in it though, and we should treasure every moment we have with her.

-Speaking of older women, we had a debate this week about the ranking order by age. Puma, cougar, lynx, jaguar, snow leopard? I want to be a snow leopard so bad, but at the rate I'm going, I'm not going to make it to puma. I'm fat and out of shape. Just in time for residency.

Happy Cinco de drinko, folks

-I'm abnormally excited about the latest coupling that rocked the tween world last week. Taylor Lautner is so cute (how many days until he turns 18?) and Selena Gomez is so the next Disney cash cow...erm, I mean big star. She's currently filming a movie called Ramona and Beezus (I LOVE BEVERLY CLEARY) in Vancouver where coincidentally, Taylor is shooting New Moon (199 days away!). Sneaky, sneaky, kids. She is so Rachel Bilson's mini-me. Miley who?

-I have been waiting for this forever. It's totally him, google a picture and compare the ears. Tupac is my favorite rapper of all time, and I'm not going to belabor you with the details, but I'm kind of pissed that he didn't resurface in 2003. For those of you not in the know, this all has to do with the number 7, which has played a prominent role in his life. 2003 would have been 7 years after his death. The Don Killuminati: 7 day theory album was recorded in 7 days. Pac died 7 days after he was shot, September 13, 1996 exactly seven months after his record All Eyez on Me was released. His time of death was 4:03 which of course when added equals 7. Yeah, I know too much about this subject.

-I really don't want to talk about this. I just can't watch anymore games. I hope Kobe doesn't have the swine flu...maybe that's why they didn't win. I don't know, but it better not happen again. Oh, and I really, really dislike Ron Artest...especially now that he has the most ridiculous fade in the history of all time.

-Speaking of swine flu, am I the only person who isn't concerned about it? I mean, it may have killed Edward Masen back in 1918, but umm...people, 101 years later we have something called modern medicine and antibiotics/antivirals (although their efficacy is questionable). Yeah.

-If Brett Favre plays for the Vikings next year, I will gouge my eyes out.

-GO DUCKS. That is all.

-Go Royals! Yeah, I'm just as befuddled as you are. $2 Turkeys for everyone!