Good night, New Moon

I never actually got around to writing about Dawn’s and my New Moon adventure, which took place on the night of the New Moon premiere way back on November 19, 2009. So I'm only like two months behind. Let me just preface this by saying that there was a ton of buildup to the movie, like I read every blog post, watched every interview, bought every magazine that featured the RPattz. Did you guys see that Vanity Fair spread? Jeebus. The six months of build up culminated in our celebration. I mean, I don’t think I’d ever been this excited for a movie’s premiere since Titanic and that’s only because I loved me some Leo DiCaprio when I was 13. Who am I kidding, I still love him. But I digress, I bought tickets for the midnight showing six weeks in advance for this latest Twilight installment and still didn’t even get the best seats. That's how big this thing is.

People are apeshit for this saga. And for Robert Pattinson, which is obviously warranted because he's sexy.

Anyway, Dawn’s parents were in town, so they graciously invited me to dinner with them at Gordon Biersch. I started the evening as I commence most evenings, in an extremely decadent fashion, partaking in lobster mac and cheese action. I really couldn’t concentrate on the dinner though since we were about to see New Moon! RPattz! I’m a fangirl in the worse sense.

Dawn and I attended the one night only repeat showing of Twilight at 8 PM along with some other die hards, but I think our theater was pretty tame. There were a few girls wearing Team Edward shirts, some with Twilight paraphernalia, but overall nothing crazy. I mean, we didn’t have anyone dress up like Alice or Rosalie or anything like that. Dawn and I certainly wouldn’t be caught dead in costume, just in case that shit ended up on the internet or something. Could you imagine? We’d never live it down. I'm a huge fan, but I ain't willing to compromise my dignity.

After the first movie was over, we headed back to my place for a power nap, which shows you how pathetic and old we are. I couldn’t even make it to midnight without a nap. But in my defense, I was two days post call, so I was already exhausted.

By the time we were back to the theater for the premiere, I was in full form though, and super duper excited. That’s right, super duper. We bought souvenir cups of soda, which was definitely needed to boost energy, and plus I like drinking from a cup with RPattz's face on it. That's only a little disturbing to me, BTW.

And then the magic started. First, we were rewarded with a trailer for Robert Pattinson’s upcoming Remember Me, which but for Evil Tess, looks like it’s going to be moderately good. I do love Chris Cooper’s acting and Pierce Brosnan is a silver fox. And I want to see Letters to Juliet because A. I like Amanda Seyfried and B. They played Taylor Swift’s Love Story in the trailer. Whoever made that happen is a genius.

When the movie started with that huge image of the yellow moon eclipsing, I about peed myself, it was so exciting. And thoughts on the movie?

It was phenomenal, for what the material is. I mean, you have to remember, this is Twilight, not Gone with the Wind. Chris Weitz, who was already one of my favorite directors because of About a Boy and American Pie, did an incredible job bringing the book to life. It was so accurate, and even though most people who hadn’t seen the movie argued that it was slow and boring, that’s how it was in the book. New Moon is my least favorite of the saga, but the movie kicked ass because it was true to the story.

Edward leaving Bella was so painful, I definitely teared up. Plus, Edward's tweed suit was just so severe. The wardrobe was a little awkward, not gonna lie. Except the shirtless part, that was completely necessary. Speaking of shirtless, you really felt Taylor Lautner’s Jacob growing in his role as Bella’s best friend and burgeoning love interest.

The movie obviously needed more Pattinson, but I mean, that’s just the nature of how it went down in the book. My favorite scene was definitely when he was walking towards her in slow motion for the first time. I died. He’s gorgeous.

I thought Kristen Stewart did a much better job this time around, especially in the very notable passing months scene, where she looks dead. Plus, they paired that scene with the very haunting Lykke Li tune, Possibility. The soundtrack is fantastic, by the way, I mean Slow Life by Grizzly Bear is one of the saddest songs I’ve heard in a while. And Roslyn by Bon Iver? Perfection.

Billy Burke was very cute as Chief Swan again, and Ashley Greene was definitely more like the Alice I envisioned whilst reading the book this time around. And the Volturi were cast perfectly. I mean, Michael Sheen is an amazing actor, as is Dakota Fanning, and they were all super creepy.

And jeebus, Taylor Lautner’s abs. That’s all I can say until he turns 18. Only like two weeks, right?

The movie was much funnier this time around, which was nice because it is a serious book. People were laughing in the theater at a lot of parts that probably weren’t supposed to be funny, but it was midnight and we were at a freaking showing of Twilight.

I don’t want to ruin the ending for anyone, but OMG can you say cliffhanger? Loved it! I've seen the movie three times in theaters, once by myself. First movie I've ever seen by myself.

This makes me very excited for Eclipse, although I feel like the excitement has died down quite a bit since New Moon was released. In part, I think it’s because RPattz and KStew have been laying low (except over the New Year’s holiday) and after the press tour they’ve been MIA. Also, everyone in the cast has been involved in different projects, including Taylor Lautner's movie Valentine's Day with ex-gf Taylor Swift...I seriously will be like the first in line for this movie. It's about my birthday! And it has Bradley Cooper! And Patrick Dempsey! And Hector Elizondo! And George Lopez! Wait, what?

Anyway, we eventually went to Burger King to grab some New Moon gift cards (I got the Edward one, obvs), and I think the manager felt second hand embarrassed for the two grown women who were buying Twilight gift cards that he gave us the fan pack with trading cards for free. I appreciated that. I really wanted to steal the Edward cut out from outside the BK. Somehow I think the King would show up outside my window though and that would not be cool. That guy scares the shite out of me.

Anyway, June 30, I am there at the theater. Eclipse was my favorite book and I'm excited to see how it will pan out. And since I've recruited her to the dark side, Dawn will be right there with me. See what Twilight does? It brings people together. You go, Twilight.

The Twilight Saga New Moon: making people buy tickets to shitty movies

The official New Moon trailer is being shown before the Citizen Kane comparable movie Sorority Row this weekend. I believe this is the movie with Audrina Patridge, which she probably is spectacular in because she's already got the zombie dead eyes. If you ever meet me, you should ask me to do my impression of her face, it's pretty spot on.

I have to break this trailer down, it is so fantastic. I mean, Chris Weitz is a genius. I have to say it. The man made American Pie and About a Boy, two of my favorite movies ever. Like, I watched About a Boy two weeks ago, and fuck me, Hugh Grant is awesome. I digress though.



Oh shit, the Volturi. Michael Sheen looks so freaky when he's breaking that guy's neck...although I guess anyone would be if they were killing someone. Oh Edward. He looks like a dad wearing that blazer, seriously, where'd he get that from Carlisle's closet? Regardless he looks like a DILF.

"Promise me you won't do anything reckless." Kristen Stewart looks like she's going into a conniption when he tells her she doesn't belong in his life. And she sounds all guttural when she's having a nightmare about him. People have been having conniptions about the color of his Volvo. No, it does not look like silver. It's still a Volvo, and it's still a total dad car, why doesn't Edward get a sporty little Bimmer like Rosalie? He really is like 108 years old, the only age where that kind of car is appropriate.

KStew looks totally hot in the motorcycle scene, her hair is all reddish and blowing in the wind. Too bad Jacob has to go and ruin the scene by existing. "I know what he did to you, I'd never hurt you." Well, Jacob that's because you suck. If you love someone you have to let them go sometimes, and Edward did it to protect her, no matter how totally lame that was. You are selfish and continually want to expose her to the wolfpack, where she could totally get hurt. Have you not seen what Sam did to Emily? Asshole.

Yeah, and don't grab her arm to stop her from going to save Edward, k? Thx.

Alice looks so cute when she's driving her porsche. Oh Edward in front of the Volturi, that scene is going to be so badass. He looks so wan and pained. And shirtless, definitely shirtless. KStew's all running through a fountain and screaming. That penultimate scene where Demetri is slamming Edward down on the ground and then the logo flashes is kickass.

Man the wolfpack fighting Laurent looks awesome, and closer to what I was imagining for that scene. And oh god, more Volturi. Apparently that scene is all about beating the shit out of Edward. The last part of the trailer where Dakota Fanning says, "This may hurt just a little," gave me chills.

I'm glad they had a lot of Alice and Volturi in this trailer. Not so much Cullens or Jacob. They gave a little taste of Italy and the wolfpack (who by the way, have amazing bodies, like holy shit). There was some action, Rob shirtless, Charlie Swan, and Jessica (whom I love in the movie). They did such a superior job on the makeup for this movie, it's unbelieveable. They even got a song from Death Cab on the soundtrack!

It looks way less cheesy than the other trailer did. When I first saw the trailer for Twilight, I hadn't read the books and as I was watching, two things flashed through my mind.

1. Cam Gigandet is such a douche. And I'm sure he's not in real life, but judging from his role as Volchok on the OC, and now as long flaxen haired baddie vamp James, I just want to hate him. He is very, very sexy though when he's not in James character. This was the first time I'd seen him since the OC, so that bad taste was still in my mouth.

2. This movie looks so effing lame. Like, Edward jumpin' around trees, stoppin' a truck, sayin' cheesy lines to Bella. He looks like a crazed meth addict with that hair and those expressions. I watched the trailer again the other day on the DVD, and I cringed. Knowing nothing about the books and seeing that did not make me want to see the movie. Really, "Forever begins now," in sparkly lettering? Is that how that's going to go?

This New Moon trailer might actually make people who aren't fans want to see the movie, the special effects look badass, the action is there, there looks like something more than just a love story between an awkward girl and her vampire boyfriend. Only 69 days, huzzah!

Don't You Forget About John Hughes

We lost an American institution to coronary heart disease this week, John Hughes. This man was one of the most celebrated film directors of the 1980s. I mean, he wasn't like a Scorcese or a Coppola, but he directed a ton of memorable, age defining movies. He made light movies that people enjoyed and could watch again and again. From feel good comedies to awkward teen romances, he owned the 80s. He single-handedly made Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall. Created them out of a rib I think. He was most known for his work with the Brat Pack, he literally defined the genre, but he was also a writer on movies like National Lampoon's Vacation, Home Alone, Beethoven, and 101 Dalmations (the one with Glenn Close, obvs). Plus all his movies had stellar soundtracks. So as a tribute, this is my countdown of my favorite John Hughes movies.

No Pretty in Pink is not on the list. Why you ask? Well, I have a real problem with the ending. I feel like Molly Ringwald should have ended up with John Cryer and not with Andrew McCarthy. And obviously I was right...John Cryer is one of the highest paid actors on television now...Two and a Half Men. Andrew McCarthy had a bit role on Gossip Girl this past season, so yeah, I stand by my choice. Great freaking soundtrack though--Echo & the Bunnymen, OMD, Psychedelic Furs? Amazing.


5. Weird Science. Take two awkward guys who can't get laid (Anthony Michael Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith). Add a computer stimulation project gone awry, creating a sexy, badass super-being (Kelly LeBrock...who was hotter than her in that movie, btw?) who helps them gain confidence and out wit the bullies (one being Robert Downey Jr!), thus gaining them the hearts of two cute girls. Then set it to an Oingo Boingo fueled soundtrack. Awesomeness is the result. Really, it's the modern day Frankenstein.


4. Sixteen Candles. Who didn't love Jake Ryan in the 80s? This is probably Molly Ringwald's best role, Sam Baker, geekyish nobody who is in love with the popular senior who doesn't know she exists. Seriously her life sucks. Her family forgets her birthday... her sweet sixteen...because they are all really fucked up and plus her sister is getting married the next day. Somehow there's a foreign exchange student staying with them, Long Duk Dong, and even he finds a girlfriend when Sam is forced to take him to a school dance. Anthony Michael Hall is this geek who is in love with Sam, cue the famous panty flashing scene, but he inexplicably ends up with the Prom queen when she gets completely shitfaced and is broken up with by Jake. Everyone knows the climax of the movie, the quintessential scene of the 80s, the kiss over the birthday cake. As a female, I think it's one of the best scenes ever.

3. Some Kind of Wonderful. This is a severely underrated movie, judging by the fact that I've been searching for it in stores for awhile now, and it's not available anywhere. Yes I'm aware I could purchase it on the internet, but for some reason I don't like doing that. The premise is time tested, Mary Stuart Masterson has a huge unrequited crush on her best friend Eric Stolz, who has a huge unrequited crush on the effervescent Amanda (Lea Thompson). Let the awkwardness and teen angst ensue. This film marked Candace Cameron's first role too, as Eric Stolz's little sister. Unlike Pretty in Pink, this movie has a happy ending, and the two best friends end up together, and the world is right. This movie gives hope to the cute, smart, funny best friend...because you know you're more like that girl than the glamazon hot chick.


2. The Breakfast Club. This is my favorite Brat Pack movie, and one of my all time favorites in general. It truly has stood the test of time, and has been the inspiration for many a television show and movie (i.e. the Dawson's Creek episode that ripped it off). The premise is simple, what happens when you put a princess, a jock, a criminal, a brain and a basket case together in detention? Magic. That's what. And dancing...in a library. That scene at the end where Judd Nelson puts Molly Ringwald's earring in his ear set to Simple Minds' Don't You Forget About Me? Perfect cinematic ending. And Emilio Estevez unexpectedly falling for the made over cute-as-a-button Ally Sheedy? Amazing. The reason why Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) gets detention? Frighteningly clairvoyant. Everyone is represented, and that's the point. The point is that no matter who you are, what niche your personality fits in, you have a little bit of all those characters within you. You can relate to every single one of them. There is no better example of a teen movie. This is it. If you had one movie to pick from the Brat Pack genre, you pick the Breakfast Club. It is defining.

1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This is the quintessential 1980s movie. I have never met anyone who didn't love this movie. Save Ferris. I mean, who doesn't want to be him? Ferris is the most popular guy, he skips school, drives Cameron's dad's Ferrari, goes to a Cubs game, pretends he's Abe Froman, sausage king of Chicago, dances in a parade. And he beats antagonist (and later real life sex offender) Mr. Rooney. There is nothing Ferris Bueller is incapable of, but yet it's a movie about his self-consciousness about leaving everything behind when he graduates. Everything about this movie is awesome, there isn't one scene that sucks. Matthew Broderick was brilliant, but it's his words that made the movie...and John Hughes wrote those words. Oh yeah.

Potpourri/Si se puede!

Yesterday I saw the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, starring the effervescent Matthew McConaughey (read in sarcastic tone) and Jennifer Garner. I actually really liked this movie, the critics totally panned it saying that the leads had no chemistry and that it was saccharine and lame, but you know what? In these trying times, you kind of just want the asshole douchebag guy to end up with his smart, witty first love because he realizes that she is good enough that he is willing to change his caddish ways.

Plus, you should never believe anything Ben Lyons says, I'm pretty sure he's public enemy #1. Last week, he literally referred to Seth Rogen as "Bro-gen." Buddy, you are not bros. You work in journalism, he has to talk to you out of obligation. Also, the definition of "bros" does not include you pleasuring yourself to pictures of the new lighter version of him.

Anyway, GOGP had a great soundtrack because all flashback movies allow the best music to be played. Some highlights:

Get Down Tonight by KC and Sunshine Band
Let's Groove by Earth Wind and Fire
Nothin' But A Good Time by Poison (my second favorite Poison song of all time!)
I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
6 Underground by the Sneaker Pimps (which forever reminds me of Val Kilmer's the Saint)
I try by Macy Gray
Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper (played during an especially funny scene with Emma Stone)
Holding Back the Years by Simply Red (how fucking ecstatic was I to hear this...it is still so relevant and awesome that we're still hearing this song in a new movie in 2009)

I'm totally hoping to not pigeon hole myself in the movie soundtrack blog category, but there have just been some great soundtracks out there. If you want that, go to ReelSoundtrack for a comprehensive music/movie blog.

Pros:
-Emma Stone, who I might be obsessed with now; Jules from Superbad! Come on, she's awesome. Her comic relief made this movie.
-Michael Douglas, somehow they unearthed Mr. Douglas for the role as Connor's legendary badass uncle Wayne, and he was perfect. It's that gravelly voice of his, he's a silver fox.
-Christa B. Allen, who played young JGarn in 13 going on 30 (another great soundtrack), is totally back playing young Jennifer Garner in this movie. Awesome, kudos to you, casting director.
-The rest of the cast was great, Jennifer Garner is as always, perfect with those cheekbones and those pouty lips; Breckin Meyer and Lacey Chabert who are apparently ageless, Camille Guaty (who if you are a Disney Channel Original Movie geek like I am, you will recognize as the lead in Gotta Kick it Up! Si se puede, indeed.)

Cons: Matthew McConaughey. I don't find him charming ever, but I actually didn't want to beat him up while watching this movie. I'm still putting him on the con side though.

--Jack Kemp died. He was the quarterback for the Buffalo Bills in the mid-sixties before there ever was a united AFC/NFC version of the NFL. After playing pro ball for many years, he served as Congressman in Buffalo for 18 years. Of course, he was then Bob Dole's running mate in the 1996 presidential election. This is relevant to me because Jack Kemp spoke at my sister's graduation from college at USC. So yes, it goes without saying, he was a member of the GOP.

--I forgot to mention this last week, but Bea Arthur passed. Now, she wasn't my favorite Golden Girl (that would be Sophia; Dorothy was supposed to be the reasonable one, but she kept Stan around and he bugged me to no avail), but she made that show. And that show made my youth. I'm sure this has been said by many a blogger, but thank you for being a friend, Bea.

--Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao = badass. He reminds me of a young Barry Bernabe.

--If you haven't already, read McBrandon's post on HydroxyCut. Jon Marshall, resident physician belongs at Tool Academy.

Choose Your Own Adventureland

So, this post has been awhile in the making. I saw Adventureland last month and really, really liked it. It was very unexpected. Written and directed by Greg Mottola, most famously and awesomely known for directing Superbad, you'd think it would be a nonstop boob and dick fest, but it wasn't like that at all. There were some funny parts, but mostly it was about relationships and shitty situations and life. It was very real for a moment there.

First of all, it's set in the late 80s in Pittsburgh, providing the perfect backdrop of depressed desperation which is pervasive throughout the movie. 80s = automatic win.

Adventureland is a poignant, coming of age story about a recent college graduate named James (loveably awkward Jesse Eisenberg) whose parents, hard up on times, rescind his summer Europe vacation graduation present. Instead, he gets a nowhere job at a local decrepit theme park where, as always, there are a bunch of lowlifes and eccentrics hanging about. Amongst his zany co-workers is Em, a ray of light in the despondent universe of the Adventureland theme park. She is played beautifully by Kristen Stewart.

I am so team Kristen right now. Not only is she Bella Swan in Twilight, but she was so convincingly emo and flawed in this movie that you couldn't help but fall in love with her. You could totally see her appeal to James here (he's saving the damsel), even though she was having an affair with perennial scuzzbucket Ryan Reynolds. She picks great roles, everything from quirky independents to blockbuster vampire flicks which portends to a great career, if she wants it. And I think she's got this really anti-Hollywood thing going on. She's open with her honesty and frank rejection of any of the set 'starlet rules,' and she's not afraid to say what's on her mind. Plus her boyfriend is hot.

The best thing about this movie was the soundtrack. I love mainstream 80s music, I am actually obsessed with it, and almost every time I heard a familiar opening riff during the movie, I died a little bit more inside...of happiness.

Yo La Tengo did the scoring of the movie, which is another total win.

Stand outs include:

Modern Love by David Bowie
Rock Me Amadeus by Falco
Looking for A Kiss by New York Dolls
Hot Blooded by Foreigner
Pale Blue Eyes by the Velvet Underground
Don't Dream it's Over by Crowded House (!!!)
Let the Music Play by Shannon
I Want Action by Poison
Satellite of Love by Lou Reed
Point of No Return by Expose
Obsession by Animotion
Your Love by The Outfield (!!!)
Just Like Heaven by the Cure (my favorite song ever)
Breaking the Law by Judas Priest
Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
Don't Change by INXS

Soundtrack also includes Wang Chung, The Replacements, Rush, the Stones.

This is going to be a big movie weekend, I'm probably going to be seeing Wolverine and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (don't judge). I doubt those soundtracks will be as good as this movie's was, and I definitely recommend checking it out.

Oh, and Kristen Stewart, along with my current obsession Robert Pattinson and future obsession--when he turns 18--Taylor Lautner, is one of People's 100 Most Beautiful this year. I'm sure she's just thrilled about that. Yeah, she really seems to be the type of person who really gives a shit about meaningless lists and celebrity pandering.

I'm still probably going to buy the magazine though. I'm just sayin'.